Liberals, Labor 'asked' to join the Turnbull Party

Canberra, Thursday - Malcolm Turnbull has rebutted accusations that he asked Paul Keating about joining the Labor Party by replying that they, instead, had asked to join the Malcolm Turnbull Party (MTP).

'I was asked by high-level representatives of both parties, on several occasions, whether they could be absorbed into the Malcolm Turnbull Party,' says Turnbull. 'Of course, it wasn't an official party at the time, but I immediately accepted.'

Turnbull went on to elaborate to the media, saying that he envisaged the process of absorption of the two parties, with a combined age of over one century, and being constituted of thousands of members and elected representatives, would be gradual, and he would over time simply 'engorge them in my fleshy bulk', helped by the power of his ego.

The MTP, once created, would simply require minor changes to the laws of the land regarding the formation of political parties, and the democratic process. For instance, states Turnbull, 'votes could simply be replaced by an economical process of adulation'.

Paul Keating has responded to Turnbull's claims by laughing and replying, 'Look, Malcolm did approach me asking if I'd like to join with him. I was very flattered, but in the end I had to say no.'