Other people that smile too much: people in advertisements for gyms, people in shampoo ads, and the Joker, while he is in the midst of performing another demonically evil act.
Also, the other day, I saw on television an advertisement for Qantas. It featured children frolicking about in the natural landscapes of Australia. They all wore white shirts. They were waving their faces around in the sunlight. They were crooning some dreadful hymn about Australia having sons and daughters who were doing meaningless things in other countries. And , O God, yes, they were smiling. It was a vision of horror! Imagine drowning at the bottom of an ocean of golden syrup, physically asphyxiating on saccharine. That's how bad it was.
Coffee, however, is pleasant. Coffee does not smile at you in the morning while delivering banal news stories, or try to sell you gymkhana memberships. Coffee does not wear a white shirt or wave its deformed visage around in the sunlight or gargle hideous homilies about the virtues of home. Coffee is sturdy, reliable, grainy, and black. I think I will have another one now.
Have a nice weekend.