Friday, August 06, 2010

Important information

My underpants have four holes in them: two for my legs, one for my waist, and one is a speed hole. It makes the underpants go faster. Why I should want my underpants to go faster than the rest of me, I have no idea.

My jumper also has an extra hole in it, but it's not a speed hole. It's just for decoration.

Anyway, now that I have divulged this vitally important information to you, you may carry on living your lives in a completely ordinary fashion. Thank you for your time.


Blandwagon said...

I think you'll find that the 4th hole in your underpants is there to equalise pressure differentials between the interior and exterior of your underpants.

This hole is important, especially following the consumption of spicy food, to prevent your underpants swelling up and eventually exploding, which can result in social awkwardness and unfortunate scorching.

TimT said...

What you're referring that's a peculliarity of the WA underpant, as stipulated in your State Underpant Legislation, and is not common to the Australian Underpant, much less the Victorian underpant. Speed holes they are.

TimT said...

Yes, there is a Victorian Underpant, singular. Yes, we all wear it. Not at the same time obviously. Sharing is caring.

Ann ODyne said...

at french blanchisseries they call them pantalons.
If les chats had pantalons they would have a 5th hole for their tail - have you voted today for Beatrice?.

Ann ODyne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

You're the best campaign manager ever, Ann o'Dyne (but I think the pantalons could get messy if les chats took to wearing them for public appearances).

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