Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How to keep your chakra and chi in perfect alignment without endangering toddlers

A 2 year old toddler has been mauled after a woman's spirit dog escaped and went on a rampage, it has been reported.

"I don't know why it happened," said Dawn Fairychild Crystal-Aubergine, of Daylesford. "He was always such a peaceful spirit dog, inspiring my soul, and providing me with calm and tranquil guidance in my day to day problems, and keeping my chakra and chi in perfect alignment. I don't see how he could do this."

This is the fifth such spirit dog attack in recent months, but it pales in insignificance to the great spirit tiger rampage of 1972, in which the spirit guide of a lonely, reclusive old man living in Palo Alto, California, escaped and ate several members of the town.

There have been renewed calls for greater regulation and licensing of spirit animals following this attack. Meanwhile, Ms Crystal-Aubergine says next time, she'll get a smaller, safer spirit guide. "I'm thinking a spirit tarantula", says says. "They're so furry! Everyone loves them!"


twittertales said...

I believe it's considered very zen to keep bowls of goldfish in doorways. But possibly not for the goldfish.


TimT said...

If you balanced them on the top of the door it would possibly be very slapstick. Again not for the goldfish.

Mitzi G Burger said...

My inner spirit guide is a very sleepy marmalade-coloured cat. Zzzzzz.

TimT said...

Yes, same with me except I have tow spirit guide cats, not one. Reflects a split personality, maybe?

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