Thanks to the miracle of science, the universe has just got a little less mysterious. Crack squads of scientists working around the clock have finally sequenced the Chicken Genome. This marks an important advance in the vital scientific field of Chickenology, and soon, the age old question
Why did the chicken cross the road?
may be answered.
To this date, all research into the subject has proved fruitless. An international team of philosophers have endlessly deconstructed and reconstructed the question in an attempt to find its hidden, cryptic meaning, to no avail. Physicists have made numerous attempts to find the answer in their Unified Field Theory, but to this date have found no answer. Many psychologists have attempted to relate the chickens actions back to its suppressed Oedipal desires for its mother, but this theory has not been accepted, either.
And then the Australian Police Force got in on the act...
Detective: Mr Chicken, what were you doing on the night of October the 1st?
Chicken: I refuse to answer that question, on the grounds that it might incriminate me...
Detective: We have witnesses, Mr. Chicken ... plenty of witnesses... who say you were seen standing on the kerb of a busy highway at 7.30pm, eastern standard time...
Chicken: (Crosses wings)I want to see my lawyer.
Detective: Now then, Mr. Chicken, this is a purely informal interview, and you're free to go at any time. We'd just like to know the answers to a few questions...
Chicken: Oh? Then why's that on? (Indicating tape recorder with wing).
Detective: Mr. Chicken, do you recognise this road? (Showing him a photograph)
Chicken: Sure. That's Hanley Street. He's an old friend of mine, I talk with him every now and then. So what?
Detective: I put it to you, Mr. Chicken, that you were crossing this road on the night in question, and that...
Chicken: Why are you saying these things about me? I want to see my lawyer! Is it a crime to cross the road, anyway? No? Well, then...
Detective: Mr. Chicken, please calm down, we just want to know...
Chicken: No! I refuse to participate in this ridiculous charade! This interview is ove...
Once scientists have answered this question, they will be able to focus on other pressing scientific issues, such as - Why Women Are Always Attracted to Gay Men, The Meaning Of Life The Universe and Everything and God, Now That I've Answered All The Big Questions, What Am I Going To Do For The Rest Of The Day?
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (69)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)
- Exciting Business Venture
- Family and Stuff
- Merry Christmas Eve
- Wherein Tim Looks At Some Timeless Artistic Master...
- Journey to the Ends of the Earth
- For Red
- Where Was I Again?
- My Tips
- My Favourite Things
- I'm Just Saying
- Vote One Carry Hutton, and Other Assorted Items.
- The Sausage Version
- Cuteness2 - Contributing to the Downfall of Wester...
- Kite Yodelling
- The Most Boring Word in the English Language
- We're Almost The Worst!
- You Foul Mouthed Bastards
- Age Old Question Soon To Be Answered
- A Nonny No - #2
- I Value Your Opinion
- Can't Talk
- A Nonny No - A Comment on Blog Terminology
- No Animals Were Harmed
- Sucking Hell!
- I'm Not Pedantic
- Tsk Tsk
- Ultra Apologies
- The Hippy In The Desktop Drawer
- Stuttering Joyous Leaves
- Let's Talk Trash
- DC Comics, I'm Waiting to Hear From You
- Performance Poetry Update
- Hot Dating Advice From One Who Knows!
- Now Is The Summer of Our Discontent
- Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?
- ▼ December (41)