Thanks to the miracle of science, the universe has just got a little less mysterious. Crack squads of scientists working around the clock have finally sequenced the Chicken Genome. This marks an important advance in the vital scientific field of Chickenology, and soon, the age old question
Why did the chicken cross the road?
may be answered.
To this date, all research into the subject has proved fruitless. An international team of philosophers have endlessly deconstructed and reconstructed the question in an attempt to find its hidden, cryptic meaning, to no avail. Physicists have made numerous attempts to find the answer in their Unified Field Theory, but to this date have found no answer. Many psychologists have attempted to relate the chickens actions back to its suppressed Oedipal desires for its mother, but this theory has not been accepted, either.
And then the Australian Police Force got in on the act...
Detective: Mr Chicken, what were you doing on the night of October the 1st?
Chicken: I refuse to answer that question, on the grounds that it might incriminate me...
Detective: We have witnesses, Mr. Chicken ... plenty of witnesses... who say you were seen standing on the kerb of a busy highway at 7.30pm, eastern standard time...
Chicken: (Crosses wings)I want to see my lawyer.
Detective: Now then, Mr. Chicken, this is a purely informal interview, and you're free to go at any time. We'd just like to know the answers to a few questions...
Chicken: Oh? Then why's that on? (Indicating tape recorder with wing).
Detective: Mr. Chicken, do you recognise this road? (Showing him a photograph)
Chicken: Sure. That's Hanley Street. He's an old friend of mine, I talk with him every now and then. So what?
Detective: I put it to you, Mr. Chicken, that you were crossing this road on the night in question, and that...
Chicken: Why are you saying these things about me? I want to see my lawyer! Is it a crime to cross the road, anyway? No? Well, then...
Detective: Mr. Chicken, please calm down, we just want to know...
Chicken: No! I refuse to participate in this ridiculous charade! This interview is ove...
Once scientists have answered this question, they will be able to focus on other pressing scientific issues, such as - Why Women Are Always Attracted to Gay Men, The Meaning Of Life The Universe and Everything and God, Now That I've Answered All The Big Questions, What Am I Going To Do For The Rest Of The Day?
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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