Yesterday was the first day of summer, 1 December. It was shit: hot and windy and humid. Everything I hate about summer.
Today it was beautiful and cool; it was cloudy in the morning and there was drizzle until noon; I got water in my hair and on my clothes and in the pages of my book while I waited for the bus and I was loving it. The way summer should be.
Enough of this nonsense, I say. With the miracle of modern science, we should surely be able to ensure that Australians no more suffer from long, hot summer days, but instead benefit from endless cool weather. In short, I am proposing the introduction of a new ice-age. This could be achieved in several ways:
- we could pump vast amounts of sulfur into the atmosphere, which would have the effect of blocking out the hot rays of the sun and cooling our planet down;
- we could have a nuclear war, thus precipitating the onset of the once-feared nuclear winter;
- we could shift the planet several degrees away from the sun, thus negating its effects;
- or we could simply outlaw summer by an act of parliament
Frankly, I don't care how we do it. I just want it to happen. By 2100, I want to see icebergs floating down Hunter Street! I want to see wall-to-wall ice; the planet covered in a vast, flat white sheet, desolate, icily beautiful:
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea
And their masts fell down piecemeal; as they dropped
They slept on the abyss without a surge -
The waves were dead - the tides were in their grave;
The moon their mistress had expired before....
George Gordon, Lord Byron, Darkness
UPDATE - The Nerdling has the right idea. She's on her way to Antarctica, and after an initial bout of seasickness, has put up several beautiful posts about the trip.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2017 (37)
- ► 2016 (71)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)
- Exciting Business Venture
- Family and Stuff
- Merry Christmas Eve
- Wherein Tim Looks At Some Timeless Artistic Master...
- Journey to the Ends of the Earth
- For Red
- Where Was I Again?
- My Tips
- My Favourite Things
- I'm Just Saying
- Vote One Carry Hutton, and Other Assorted Items.
- The Sausage Version
- Cuteness2 - Contributing to the Downfall of Wester...
- Kite Yodelling
- The Most Boring Word in the English Language
- We're Almost The Worst!
- You Foul Mouthed Bastards
- Age Old Question Soon To Be Answered
- A Nonny No - #2
- I Value Your Opinion
- Can't Talk
- A Nonny No - A Comment on Blog Terminology
- No Animals Were Harmed
- Sucking Hell!
- I'm Not Pedantic
- Tsk Tsk
- Ultra Apologies
- The Hippy In The Desktop Drawer
- Stuttering Joyous Leaves
- Let's Talk Trash
- DC Comics, I'm Waiting to Hear From You
- Performance Poetry Update
- Hot Dating Advice From One Who Knows!
- Now Is The Summer of Our Discontent
- Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?
- ▼ December (41)