A tale of moulden times
For The Kingsley
I forged a blade of IRONY,
Of irony and gold; -
And it did gleam with mystic sheen,
A wonder to behold.
And with my sharp IRONIC blade,
I fell with savage force
Upon mine antient enemy
Without fear or remorse.
With angry lust, I carved its crust -
Its casements brave and bold:
Yea, I fell upon this barb'rous loaf
Like wolf upon the fold.
"Begone, foul fiend!" I shouted then,
Midst battle-din and strife;
And then - lo! - I did butter it,
With my IRONIC knife.
With buttering and battering,
I cut up chicken cold -
Crying "HOW ARE THE FLIGHTY FALLEN!"
I sheathed my blade so bold.
But woe betide that condiment,
Be it marmite, jam, or sauce
That challenge my IRONIC blade -
Or it shall feel its force.
I forged a blade of IRONY,
Of irony and gold; -
And it did gleam with mystic sheen,
A wonder to behold.
Substitute Cat (One cat T S Eliot forgot to write about)
For PC
Substitute Cat -
I'm the substitute cat -
For the child that wasn't -
For the couple that won't.
Substitute cat
That sits on the substitute mat
In the room in the swanky and semi-
affordable flat.
Substitute Cat -
I'm the Substitute Cat -
The might-have-that-isn't,
The will-do-but-don't.
Substitute cat
Is growing quite fat
When his owners don't look
He nibbles their hats,
Without even a thank you
Or may I or please -
His substitute life
Is all pleasure and ease.
Substitute Cat-
I'm the Substitute Cat -
For someone to have a second-hand sort of
Mumsy-and-Dadness
(Which Jellicoe Cat thinks
A quiet form of madness.)
Substitute Cat
He don't care at all -
Substitute Cat -
I'm the Substitute Cat...
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5 comments:
Hee hee.
Have you set it to music?
No, but it was impossible not to think about Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical when writing it. Maybe I should!
You could devise an opera in response to the "an inconvenient truth" opera.
No pressure.
Have you been inside my brain, ransacking my ideas?
That idea was on my (longish) list of to-dos, really!
All this time you seemed nonchalant about the while ransacking thing, I was quite sure you were comfortable with the arrangement.
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