Monday, September 21, 2009


Not that I have anything to do with it, but there is a type of nice knitting literature - let's call it 'kniterature' - out there that features on its cover manly men with nice cosy jumpers on. Or dear little children sitting about with nice cosy jumpers on. Or lovely little puppies flopping about with a skein of wool out of which the dear little jumpers to be put on the dear little children will be made. Or gay little kittens romping in and out of a basket full of colourful balls of wool. I couldn't imagine why, but apparently this sort of imagery gladdens the heart of knitters everywhere. One of these days, maybe, a cunning publisher will publish a picture of manly men in cosy jumpers, and dear little children in nice cosy jumpers, and lovely little puppies flopping around with skeins of wool, and gay little kittens romping around in boxes of wool balls, and everyone laughing, and the hearts of knitters the world over will simply die with love and content. 

Of course, appearances can be deceptive. For all the knitters know, the kittens could be thinking about pursuing small native animals prior to capturing them and torturing them; the puppies, about ripping the entrails out of the stomach of a dead enemy; the children, about how to build an atomic weapon to take over the world; and the men, about what's on the telly tonight. Which would rather go against the enforced jocularity of the whole scene. 

But all that should just go to show, you can't judge a cover by its book. Or maybe, judge not lest ye yourself wear a cosy jumper on the cover of a knitting magazine and are judged. Or possibly, a kiss without an egg is like a moustache without salt. Who can tell? 

Cosy jumpers. Don't mess with them. 


Dan the VespaMan said...

Yes, there certainly is a sinister element about those publications. For example, they keep having pictures of happy and comfortable looking chaps wearing turtle-neck jumpers. Like a fool, I decide I too wish to be happy and comfortable and purchase a turtle-neck jumper. I then spend every minute wearing it feeling annoyed by this thing that feels like it is eating my neck.

Why oh why can't I find a comfortable turtle-neck jumper?

TimT said...

The turtle kneck jumpers these chaps are wearing have their insides laced with opiates, which soaks through their skin and is absorbed into their bloodstream. That is why they look so happy and comfortable. If your turtle kneck isn't entirely comfortable, perhaps you could do an at-home job on it?

TimT said...

Now why did I spell it 'turtle kneck'?

That's Kniche Linguistics question of the day.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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