White House environmental adviser Van Jones resigned late Saturday after aTo: Barack Obama, President of the United States of America,
simmering controversy over his past statements and activism erupted into calls
for his ouster from Republican leaders on Friday.
- The Washington Post, White House Adviser Van Jones Resigns Amid
Controversy Over Past Activism
That
Washington
Dear sir/madame,
It is with great regret that today I must officially offer my formal resignation for the job of Environmental Adviser with the Council on Environmental Quality for the job which I will be officially applying for tomorrow.
I have taken this dramatic step of resigning from the position before applying for the position for many reasons, personal as well as public. Most important among these, I believe that I cannot continue to serve the people of America in the position which I would like to offer my services for tomorrow given the fallout that will inevitably occur should I be appointed to the job that I will officially apply for tomorrow.
Also, I believe that resigning in this manner will speed up the appointment and dismissal of future advisers to the Administration no end. Think how efficient it will make matters for the Democratic Party!
I hope you will look kindly on this application for resignation. I have attached the qualifications that make me a likely candidate for resignation in a 'resignation resume'. Please take some time among yourselves to scrutinise this resume in detail. However, I would just like to present, in bullet form, some of my most important qualifications for this outstanding position in resignation:
- I am a fruit loop.
- I have prior experience in many unsuitable positions with unsavoury political parties which I look forward to revealing to the public in as embarrassing a manner as possible.
- I am devoted to this great nation of ours, and look forward to resigning from a great many more positions in the future.
It is with great regret that I find that I am unable to serve the people of America in the position that I look forward to applying for tomorrow.
Yours sincerely,
Tim Train
2 comments:
Dear Mr. Train,
Thankyou for your letter of resignation for the position of Environmental Advisor.
Unfortunately, we have already accepted a resignation for this position, however we will hold your letter on file and will contact you if an opportunity to resign from another position becomes available.
We wish you well in your endeavours.
Yours Sincerely,
Office of Resignation Rejections
The White House
Washington, USA.
Looks like I'll just have to resign myself to the inevitable then. If the inevitable will accept my resignation, that is.
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