Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Good old-fashioned misery

... But while not having enough nutritious food is a big health risk for
those in poorer countries, obesity and being overweight pose yet bigger risks in
richer nations -- leading to a situation in which obesity and being overweight
causes more deaths worldwide than being underweight..."As health improves, gains
can multiply," it said. "Reducing the burden of disease in the poor may raise
income levels, which in turn will further help to reduce health inequalities."

The report warned that although some major health risk factors, such as
smoking, obesity and being overweight, were usually associated with high-income
countries, more than three-quarters of the total global burden of diseases they
cause now occurs in poor and developing countries...

Sex, alcohol, fat among world's big killers
It's just terrible how people all over the world are dying from pleasurable things like food, drink, sex, and cigarettes! We need to return to the good old horrible old days, when people died from awful miserable stuff like war, famine, pestilence, and plague.


I am desperate to avoid death from sex, alcohol, cigarettes, food, or pleasure. This is my preferred form of death.
Being decapitated by Ninjas
Being garotted by pirates
Being run off a very high cliff by zombies
Being eaten by gigantic killer flies from outer space
Contracting a rare form of Bubonic Plague that results in my head exploding at an inopportune moment
Having the Westminster Cathedral collapse on me after having saved Britain from attack by Cathars
Falling into a giant abysm that has opened in the earth and being burnt to death by the molten lava as it wells up from the earth's core
Having my eyes zapped out by a Hebrew spirit while opening up the Ark of the Covenant
Being turned into a pillar of salt
Being possessed by an evil demon from an ancient epoch and being consumed with flame when I attempt to enter a church
Free polls from

Five votes so far. It's almost like you people have a death wish, or something...

Three of you want to die by being turned into a pillar of salt. Good for you! Stand in saline solidarity with Mrs Lot!

Nobody wants to die by being eaten by gigantic killer flies. Just what have you lot got against gigantic killer flies and their urge to eat you? You'll take your gigantic killer fly and you'll like it.


Dan the VespaMan said...

I voted for the zombies Tim because it's always nice to mix with people who appreciate you for your mind even when they are trying to eat it.

phil said...

I went with the plague one because I very, very much prefer my head to explode at an opportune moment. Not that I'm sure when such a moment would eventuate, or how you'd actually know before your head exploded. Mysteries of life (and death), I guess.

I am also delighted to note that the WV is trembil, which is presumably what you do just before your head explodes.

TimT said...

Nobody wants to be eaten by gigantic outer-space flies! Why does nobody want to be eaten by gigantic outerspace flies? What did they ever do to you?

Maria said...

Don't most people who have wills have death wishes?

TimT said...

Guess so. Where there's a will, there's a slay.

Maria said...

Oh my. You topped me, TimT. I laughed my head off. It was rolling around on the floor, pissing itself laughing. It was bloody god. The eyes fair popped out of its .... skull.

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