Friday, October 30, 2009

Objection by an object

Guest post by a square

Sir Leicester P.Q. Square is a platonic object, no matter how you choose to define 'platonic'. He recently gained second place in Life magazine's reader poll 'The Two-Dimensional Rectangular Object I Admire and Would Most Like To Be Like.'

JeffS said...
I recall one senior executive who made a really bizarre statement.

We were in the midst of a "reorganization" (it mostly smoke and mirrors), when a friend of mine noticed that every single organization chart being presented at a meeting had circles and ovals, instead of the typical rectangles.

When asked about this minor change, the senior executive answered, "Circles are friendlier than squares."

Speaking as a square of longstanding squaritude, I must object to this completely unfair characterisation! You will hardly find a more kindly and outgoing polygon than the common square.

We squares are preceded by our reputation:
- You could not imagine anywhere more friendly or communal than a town square, could you?
- You eat four square meals a day.
- We are fair and square.
- Everything is square between us.
- And, most importantly, it's hip to be a square.

In contrast, circles have a far more disreputable character:

- They are always wheeling and dealing.
- Life is a wheel of fortune.
- Vultures circle on their prey - they most certainly do not square on their prey
- And lest all this does not convince you, I should not neglect to mention the vicious circle.

I therefore trust that this will serve to rectify the blot on the character of amiable squares of all shapes (so long as those shapes are square) and sizes.

Ruefully, but as ever, amicably,
Sir Leicester P. Q. Square.


Dan the VespaMan said...

Oh Tim, I'm so disappointed that you would allow your blog to host such a diatribe of shapeism. Sir Leicester is obviously a raving anti-circlite of the worst kind. He needs to start thinking outside the box and form some more rounded views before he finds himself backed into a corner.

I have some friends who are sphere's who mentioned that they have been experiencing some ill feeling from cubes lately. I know it's a totally different world but these problems have a habit of becoming interdimensional.

nailpolishblues said...

I'm rounded and I'm lovely. Insofar as squares are concerned they produce corners which leave nasty bruises on me when I accidentally walk into them.

I completely understand Dan's friend's complaint.

TimT said...

So y'all are telling me to shape up or ship out?

Email: timhtrain - at -

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