Proverbial proverbs

Made up folk wisdom for the modern age

If you want butterflies on your breadfruit, you'll have to do it yourself.

Three pips past and an apple to come.

When the hardware won't, the software will.

The Pelican can.

Dig when you can, sausages later.

Better a parasol in the evening than a single galosh in the day.

It's all underpants over here.

Penguins or pterodactyls, it's all the same to me.

They're three surds short of a googolplex, if you ask me.

A page three smile, column eight talk, and a collander for brains.

As existent as a Dame Edna Everage.

The dog always barks in the morning.

A mobile phony.

I'll show you pumpkins!

That fries your the metallic lamb chops, doesn't it, lad!

She's more analogue than digital.

Five bings and a bong, two dings and a dong, one right and two wrongs.

A mouth like a Siberian thunderstorm.

Fine words fritter no pineapples.

The golliwog of New York City.

Three flicks of the switch.

A bestseller with jam on top.

Be with you in two raps of the macaw's beak.