Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The big list...

... of things that Beatrice the cat does when she wants to go outside in the morning.

Bite toes.
Put claws in feet.
Walk around the bed.
Miaow incessantly, in as many tones of voice as possible.
Walk back and forth on the bed head.
Walk back and forth on the pillows, over our faces.
Eat paper on the floor.
Chew on the magazines on the lower lying shelves.
Put claws in your face.
Jump upon stomachs.
Sit on various parts of various humans until they wake up.
Sit on human's chest, put claws around their neck, and knead the pillow.
Claw carpet.
Claw seat.
Claw bedspread.
Claw flyscreen.
Pee on wall.
Take running long jumps into the middle of the bed from the floor, as if there is an army of invisible mice in the middle of said bed that need to be captured. Do this about one hundred times.

This is a developing list...


Steve said...

You make cat owning sound like such an attractive prospect.

Can't you just lock her in the laundry, or something?

TimT said...

In her defence she did a lot of this stuff while we were on holiday in Bright, and she really doesn't have the liberty there she does at home - so her pleas were very pleading indeed. I should also point out that Beatrice is an exceedingly beautiful and charming cat as virtually all who know her point out.

Anyway, ever seen this?

Anonymous said...

Oh, Tim that link is fantastic. As is Bea. And your blog. But not peeing on walls.

TimT said...

Depends on the wall really. But thanks.

Anonymous said...

It is important that you allow a cat to be a cat, it must have adequate access to things it can kill. It must be fed on demand, the cat should also have easy access for in and out i.e. a cat door. The cat should also be allowed to shred anything in your house.

Failure to allow your cat total freedom and control over all aspects of its life will result in the cat-astrophies that you are cataloging. Good luck

TimT said...

Oh, I get it. We are just cat-tle. :)

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