Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
Than longen cattes to sitte hem doon on chaires,
And humans for to stroke their silkene hayres;
Than longen cattes to reste hem safe in boxe
Whiles humannes pat their grey and spottey lockes;
Than longen cattes to hide beneath ye bedde,
Whiles humannes swive uponne ye nette insteade.
When Zephyrus, eek withe his frowzy mouthe
The welkin bloweth east, west, southe, northe, southe,
(Full sikerley, yt ys a bloustrous daye,
Plusse wilde, wette, woollie, grimme eek also graye),
Than longen folke to loll and tak their ease,
In bedde, on couche, with crackers, eek with cheese;
Than longen cats to jumpe in open lappe,
And curle in balle, and purre, and have a nappe.
To goon on pilgrimage? Manne, be ye nuts?
The footy's on - sitte doon eek watche, ye putz!