Tuesday, April 03, 2012

You are a cat #somethingorother

You are a cat, remember?

The situation is this: it is almost dawn, and you are up and about. Your humans are not. You wish to be outside. Your humans wish to remain in bed. Clearly, this is a complicated domestic situation, and will require the utmost in Negotiation, Tact, and Diplomacy in order to achieve an optimum result for all interested parties.

Crush the toes of your human beneath your powerful jaws! Proceed to shred any rare books, precious contracts, or expensive bills with your dagger-like teeth! But only if you spring joyously back and forth on your humans' stomachs like they are a trampoline first! That's Negotiation! That's Tact! That's Diplomacy!

You are a cat. You are outside. Excellent.

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