Thursday, February 01, 2007

Comment Unpolicy

Alexis suggested here that I put a word limit on comments in my blog, but I don't know about that. I don't mind long, rambling comments as long as they're not spam. But maybe she's on to something. For instance, I could insist that nobody leave a comment on my blog unless it contains no fewer than five-hundred words, which would certainly make for a lengthier, if not higher, standard of entries. (Or maybe it would be even more interesting if commenters could make each of their sentences five hundred words long.)

I'm toying with the idea of introducing a couple of other comment rules as well. As an example, I could make it compulsory for every comment on this blog to contain the words ' Flabbergasted', 'caterwauling', 'thumbscrew', 'toe-rag', 'cauliflower', 'Edinburgh', 'codswallop', 'aglets', and 'zabaglione'. Even better, try and throw three or more of those words in the one sentence together and see what happens. (And no snirtling in the corner, Caz and Kath!)
Another good idea would be to insist that every second sentence is only ten words long. I don't care how long the comments are, just make sure every second sentence has ten words in it.
For the clever-clever commenters out there, they could try this one: write a comment using four plurals that do not use the letter 's'. And make sure the comment is relevant to the discussion we're having (whatever that is) too!
I'd of course place strict limits on commas. There are far too many commas being used nowadays, I feel. No commas would be allowed in my comments - see how long you can do that and get away with it!
Of course, the whole point of having a comments policy on this blog is that it should raise the tone around here. So from now on, if nothing else, I'm going to absolutely and utterly insist that every comment contain a properly-worded quote from either The Bible, William Shakespeare, William Blake, Dorothy Porter, or Mae West.

I guess it's customary when writing these comment policies to also insist that commenters not be rude or abusive or nasty or anything like that, but quite frankly, I couldn't give a shit about any of that stuff. If you want to go to a nice blog, read LP or something, they have a REAL comments policy and stuff. Abuse away, people.

*The Willtypeforfood Comment Unpolicy is not posted regularly. Commenters are not asked to read or follow the Comment Unpolicy. I don't know why I posted this at all, really. Feel free to suggest some additions to the Comment Unpolicy in, um, the comments.


tdix said...

No comment

TimT said...

You missed your full stop. I know we men don't get periods, but I feel your sentence really needs one there.

ras said...

as mae west said...too much of a good thing can be...fabulous

TimT said...

As Shakespeare said*, "Fooking Aye!"

*In his now sadly lost play, "Prospero Rides Again."

Caz said...

Moi, snirtle about aglets?

I'm flabbergasted at such a suggestion, no less than I would be if you suggested that Kath is a toe-rag, rather than a Princess, or if you choked to death on a cauliflower and zabaglione soup.

They may speak a lot of codswallop in parts of Edinburgh, but I expect higher standards from you Tim, not this blogging caterwauling, as if someone had applied a thumbscrew to your genitals.

Next time someone leaves a comment – ignore it man! You don’t have to act on it!

Kathy said...

Nice to know that you think of me as a princess Caz.

You're probably the ony one that does


Kathy said...

With the exception of good old Darlene of course!

TimT said...

I'm not sure about this comment policy now, it reads more like a set of brain teasers than a comments policy - but so far, everyone's passed with flying colours!

Caz said...


I'm outraged!

I know I performed better than that.

I'm lodging an appeal about my mark.

Anonymous said...

And yea did the Lord say to Jeremiah, "blessed are the scriveners, for verily shall they inherit the Earth. Or at hopefully at least a nice set of silverware". Amen.

And did Mae West hastily rejoin: "Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins."

And the Lord was flummoxed.

Shakespeare, enjoying a quiet pint with old JC down at The Roman's Arms was overheard by Gandhi saying to The Lamb of God "As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; They kill us for their sport."

And verily did JC nod his tacit agreement.

Pshaw! What codswollop!

TimT said...

Here endeth the lesson from the Gospel of Nottlesby, Ch. 17, V. 5-10. Thus sayeth Nottlesby.

Anonymous said...


Maria said...

I'm flabbergasted by Alexis's caterwauling over comment length.

Hmm. I hope there's no policy on post length.

Cauliflower. Edinburgh.

I think.

Damn my Edinburgh caterwauling subconscious. Edinburgh.

Maria said...

Word Length Post Policy I Should Install:

When/If (hopefully when) reading the posts on my blog, you must read at least (x) number of words before giving up (where x=number greater than 15) in disgust or boredom.

Commenting is a bonus, but appreciated.

I fear this is a growing problem for me.

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive