Comment Unpolicy

Alexis suggested here that I put a word limit on comments in my blog, but I don't know about that. I don't mind long, rambling comments as long as they're not spam. But maybe she's on to something. For instance, I could insist that nobody leave a comment on my blog unless it contains no fewer than five-hundred words, which would certainly make for a lengthier, if not higher, standard of entries. (Or maybe it would be even more interesting if commenters could make each of their sentences five hundred words long.)

I'm toying with the idea of introducing a couple of other comment rules as well. As an example, I could make it compulsory for every comment on this blog to contain the words ' Flabbergasted', 'caterwauling', 'thumbscrew', 'toe-rag', 'cauliflower', 'Edinburgh', 'codswallop', 'aglets', and 'zabaglione'. Even better, try and throw three or more of those words in the one sentence together and see what happens. (And no snirtling in the corner, Caz and Kath!)
Another good idea would be to insist that every second sentence is only ten words long. I don't care how long the comments are, just make sure every second sentence has ten words in it.
For the clever-clever commenters out there, they could try this one: write a comment using four plurals that do not use the letter 's'. And make sure the comment is relevant to the discussion we're having (whatever that is) too!
I'd of course place strict limits on commas. There are far too many commas being used nowadays, I feel. No commas would be allowed in my comments - see how long you can do that and get away with it!
Of course, the whole point of having a comments policy on this blog is that it should raise the tone around here. So from now on, if nothing else, I'm going to absolutely and utterly insist that every comment contain a properly-worded quote from either The Bible, William Shakespeare, William Blake, Dorothy Porter, or Mae West.

I guess it's customary when writing these comment policies to also insist that commenters not be rude or abusive or nasty or anything like that, but quite frankly, I couldn't give a shit about any of that stuff. If you want to go to a nice blog, read LP or something, they have a REAL comments policy and stuff. Abuse away, people.

*The Willtypeforfood Comment Unpolicy is not posted regularly. Commenters are not asked to read or follow the Comment Unpolicy. I don't know why I posted this at all, really. Feel free to suggest some additions to the Comment Unpolicy in, um, the comments.