A Character Sketch
Has, I'm sad to say
A wholly unengaging personality.
He first ran into me
At a party hosted by Pythagoras.
"Hello!" he cried. "I'm the square root of two -
Who are you?"
He denies it. But it's true.
Picks his nose.
I was really quite surprised that, being an abstract numerical concept, he had a nose to pick
But he showed me - it was there
At about the five-hundred-trillionth decimal place.
I was too surprised to be shocked when he took the snot and rolled it into a gigantic ball and gave it a flick.
(It was his party trick).
He doesn't wash his hands.
He calls you on the phone while he is sitting on the toilet.
He makes raspberry sounds when he wants to enter into a conversation.
He scratches his groin when he wants to leave a conversation.
He collects rude jokes.
He shares rude jokes at breakfast.
Is not good company.
Has a dubious ancestry.
He tells some nonsense
About being the length of a hippopotamus
On a right-wing triangle.
But I don't believe him.
He lies all the time.
He is an impossible figure.
Is monotonous -
He just goes on and on.
Despite being monotonous
Should be kept away from theorems
They get wildly drunk
And just go on for hours
Talking about theology
Or higher powers
Or how to get a good square root
Some accuse me
(etc, etc, etc, etc, etc)
This is not true.
I much prefer e.
Is much nicer,
Likes to talk about interesting things,
And is, incidentally,
Quite beautiful -
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
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- A Bracing Statement of Authorial Intent
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