Great scientific advances of our time

Recently on perfecting the design of my chicken-to-human translator, I obtained some interesting results while hanging out about some chickens I know. I would like to present several chicken-to-human translations to you for your perusal. It was either that or Nature magazine.

CHICKEN 1:
What do you take me for man? What?
Some kind of backwoods duck?
I've clucking had it up to here -
I mean, what the clucking cluck?

CHICKEN 2:
Shut yer pecker. Listen son.
You're just a clucking slacker.
So take your clucking grain and shove it
Up your clucking cloaca.

CHICKEN 3:
I don't give a clucking flap,
You chickhead. I just don't.
You're just a pecking clucking chick,
A cockadoodledont.

CHICKEN 4:
Cluck off, cluckhead! Cluck yourself!
Go clucking cluck your pecker!
And cluckily clucky clucky cl...

At this point, I switched off the chicken-to-human translator, realising that nothing of interest could come out of this linguistic project whatsoever, and went and did the dishes.