Thursday, June 24, 2010

New leadership! Old Labor!

Julia Gillard has become Australia’s first red-head Prime Minister after being elected unopposed by the Labor caucus.

What will this election mean for red-heads everywhere? We’ve certainly come a long way since the 1960s when redheads were forced to work at half pay, or the dark years of the 19th century, when redheads were forced to slave in underground uranium mines for those of the brown-headed and blonde-headed castes. Well no they didn’t, but it just reinforces the prejudices red-heads have been forced to bear, doesn’t it? It is impossible to speculate where to next for Gillard, but it is considered highly likely by experts that she will attempt to become the first red-head president of the solar system, after which she will exact a terrible toll on all non red-heads for the generations of suffering by her ranga brothers and sisters. Well that’s probably not true either. But still!

However, several well-connected Canberra figures argue that Gillard’s victory was made possible through the support of several Labor heavyweights. These include the Labor left, the Labor right, unions, and another shadowy group known as ‘women’. It is not known how many of these 'women' are in politics, but we are informed that there are even influential 'women' figures in other left and right Labor factions. These contacts even go so far as to suggest that the Labor party may hope the well-connected red-head will be popular with the Australian public because she is also our first woman Prime Minister.

Other figures, however, have dismissed these charges as baseless.

Take the poll!


Ann ODyne said...

Redhead policies will, I am sure, remain the same, but I think that the change everybody voted for was No Temper Tantrums and no 24/7 working week. oh happy times

TimT said...

Well good luck to her. I look forward to not voting for her come next electiobn.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

To vote for Julia Gillard, TimT, in your electorate, you have to vote for Martin Ferguson first. Which is all the turn off I need.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Although, she's just won
the small Labor-voting chamber of my Greens-voting heart.

TimT said...

Martin's great, though admittedly such an appalling public speaker that I don't know how he got the job he has got. He's the only one of the ALP with halfway sensible views on nuclear energy I reckon.

TimT said...

Wow, apparently Lindsay Tanner has resigned.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Absolutely. Nuclear energy production never hurt anybody. Go, Martin!

TimT said...

Methinks we've had this discussion before. I reckon we should get a pizza tonight and have it again. It will make amusing philosophical dialogue. Perhaps we should invite Martin along and we could all have a cosy litle chat.

Blandwagon said...

From what I've seen in photos, Julia is no longer a natural ranga. So that bodes badly for any sugar mine plans.

Of course this could all just be a photoshopping ploy of the right-wing media complex.

Legal Eagle said...

Ranga-ness has a distressing tendency to fade to brown. I have considered dyeing my hair to get back that red tint, but am now concerned that it will look like I'm "doing a Gillard", particularly as my hairdo isn't that dissimilar.

TimT said...

I do wonder about the conversations Gillard has with her partner Tim Mathieson. 'I'm going to an important meeting today with several key UN committee executives, how should I do my hair?' Power discussions about suits? I know that's very frivolous speculations about a person in Gillard's position who probably spends most of her time working out how to crush her enemies and get legislation through the houses, but still, her choice of a hairdresser partner does rather draw attention to it.

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive