Q: What's the difference between a writer and a smuggler?
A: One plans plots, the other plans plots.
An American, an Australian, and an Irishman are due for execution. The executions are carried out successfully.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
Q: What's the latest Irish invention?
A: The Large Hadron Collider.
[Editor's note: actually the Large Hadron Collider was built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research.]
Q: What do cows eat for breakfast?
Q: What's the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
A: One imparts knowledge, the other delivers you to a destination.
A librarian was sitting in the library as she had always done one day when a chicken walked in the door of the library, and up to the desk, saying, 'book, book, book, book, book.' Well, the librarian beheaded the chicken and that night her whole family had a nice roast meal.
Q: What's the difference between an eccentric person who goes about inquiring the local birds about various matters, and a politician?
A: One questions ducks, the other ducks questions.
[Editor's note: the Q needs work.]
Q: When is a door not a door?
A: When it's open.
One day Jackie Jackie...
[Editor's note: racism! Completely unacceptable. Wait for the Giant Compendium of Politically Incorrect Jokes.]
An Irishman, American, and Englishman walked into the bar and drank a moderate amount of alcohol in a responsible fashion before catching the bus home.
[Editor's note: stop. right. there.]
Q: When is a door not an orange?
A: Doors are usually not oranges, most of the time.
Q: What's black and sits at the top of the stair?
A: A black... thing.
A blonde wants to get to the other side of the river. So she walks over the bridge.
Q: What's the difference between a person who designs kitchenware, and a person who draws maps on the kitchenware?
A: One person plans pots, the other plots pans.
[Editor's note: will consider it for second printing.]
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
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- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
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- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
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- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
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- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
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- Summary of a book
- A poem about liking things
- A sensible pantoum, written on the tram
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- Precious non-vanishing natural heritage
- An allsorts post, but not involving licorice
- Great scientific advances of our time
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