Sunday, July 11, 2010

A very literary post

The literary community of Melbourne expressed grave concerns when the seventeenth page of creative writing publication Page Seventeen went missing. Rumours were initially rife that editor Tiggy Johnson had accidentally take the seventeenth page with her on holiday, but she could not be contacted to confirm or deny these rumours.

Acting editor Vicki Thornton expressed concerns about the publication following this crisis: "I really don't know what will happen to Page Seventeen now that the seventeenth page has gone missing. Perhaps we should call it Page Sixteen? But then what if the seventeenth page turns up again? Will we have to change the name back again? These concerns that I have are very concerning."

Other Melbourne literary figures have been pushing for Page Seventeen to turn the third page into the one hundred and third page, for the one hundred and third page to become the new nineteenth page, and for the nineteenth page to be transmogrified into the new seventeenth page, thus alleviating a number of concerns amongst the reading and writing public. However, others have said they are 'worried' about what this means for the ongoing future of the one hundred and third page, and several Facebook groups have sprung up with names like 'Let's keep good old page one hundred and three the way it is.'

The disappearance of Page Seventeen follows a spate of other high-profile disappearances amongst the media world at large. The ABC's national television show The 7.30 Report recently mentioned that several minutes had gone missing from their program, including the minute covering the 7.30-7.31 time slot. Due to ongoing budgetary difficulties, ABC management have been unable to find new minutes to replace the old, but they are 'pursuing the matter with the police'. Suspicions initially fell upon competing commercial network, Channel Nine. Later, however, it has emerged that rival show 60 Minutes have lost their 60th minute too.

Still, things could be worse: partially government funded network SBS recently reported that one of the S's was stolen from their station name. Now, in an effort to keep up their corporate identity, they have been rotating the remaining 'S' while they save money to get a new letter for their station. They are now called 'SB' and 'BS', on alternate nights.

Staff at Page Seventeen are in contact with the police. They have also released a statement to the media saying that, 'if anybody has the seventeenth page out there, please return it to us, and we will not pursue the matter any further.'


TimT said...

By 'A Very Literary Post', I mean, mostly, 'Very Fictional'. By 'Very Fictional' I probably mean 'full of lies'.

But just because it's full of lies doesn't mean it's not true...

Mitzi G Burger said...

Perhaps A Current Affair stole te 60th minute from 60 Minutes in order to remain current?

TimT said...

Full investigation on The 7.32 Report tonight!

Steve said...

Tim, have you found out which writer you are like yet?:
I've tried it with two of my posts: for one I was told I write like Douglas, and for the other (more sciencey post) like Isaac Asimov!

I can live with those.

For fun, I then posted in a bit of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason, and it said he writes like James Joyce. That's not bad actually, as they are both impenetrable. :)

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