Here's a bit of a phone conversation I overheard on the bus yesterday.
No, I did speak to her. And she said to ring Mandy.
So I rung Mandy, to see if she could go to the trivia.
Yes, and I might have been a bit late because of my appointment at 7.30, but I'd still make it.
Can you ever imagine a man having this sort of conversation? The best we can manage at the best of times is a sort of monosyllabic grunt, which works, most of the time we are around ... other people of the same sex. But with women... the conversation always seems to revolve around something Sharon told Karen that she'd heard Stacey tell Tracey, and the tone she said it in, and the clothes she was wearing at the time.
How could any man understand that? All the hideous complexities of human relationships dissolved into a single sentence? Give me a glass of beer and a roomful of men monosyllabically grunting at one another any day.
But there are dangers with that as well. I remember once I used the word 'uh' in an email with a girl and she said I was being condescending.
The fact is, a man could come home and find his wife swinging from the chandelier, wearing a Zena-like outfit, with the blood of their children smeared over her face (which is, incidentally, twisted into a demonic snarl), pistols blazing in both hands, screaming "HOW WAS YOUR DAY, MOTHERFUCKER????!!!!!" and he would probably answer,
"Oh, not so bad. How was yours, dear?"
before shuffling off to the kitchen to take his dinner out of the fridge.
Actually, that's an exaggeration. He might assume she was having PMT. But that's all.
Women are complicated.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (60)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- Two Degrees of Separation, Blog Style
- Coffee Spoonerisms
- My TV Loves Me
- Blogging At Work
- Housecleaning Meditations
- But What About the Scat Pack?
- Just So You Know
- Blog Dates from Hell
- Dear John
- Go or No?
- Blogging Into the Void
- I Am Diverse, Multicultural, and Tolerant
- Horsing Around
- Definitive Proof
- Woman Talk Man Talk
- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Brisvegas
- Imperial Measurement of the Week
- Hate Mail Anticipated
- Blabbering about Jabbernoir
- Channel Quiggin
- Your Assistunc Plez
- Pregrogblog Blogpost
- Supposedly Funny Contribution made to Allegedly 'F...
- The Romantic Redneck
- Morning With The McBeths
- The Ill Begotten Spawn of Satan and a Poo Sandwich...
- Baghdad Girl
- Caught Within Her Steely Talons
- Pro Procastination
- Don't Blame Me, I Only Wrote It
- Vote For Me, But Not Too Much
- Things Every Little Boy Should Know
- Happy New Year
- ▼ January (36)