Thursday, August 31, 2006

Grata Non Persona

On Meeting People You Have Previously Only Known From The Internet In Real Life

It's easy. Just go up to a person in the street you don't recognise and introduce yourself.

They will very likely be looking for somebody they don't recognise, too; so you'll have something to talk about.

The only circumstance in which this will not work is if you have previously agreed on the time, date, and place to meet up but find out later that you have both agreed on different times, dates, and places.

Although one way to avoid this is to deliberately make a mistake, and turn up at the wrong time and the wrong place.

This method might even be successful if they turn up at the wrong time and the wrong place, too.

Are they black? Make sure you do not notice this, as that may make you racist.

Are they male, or female? Again, make sure you do not notice this as this would make you racist. Everything does, nowadays.

Most people who frequent the internet are either socially maladaptive, geeks, stalkers, or murderous psychopaths (hey, Mum, look at my blog!) If the Person You Have Previously Only Known From The Internet is one of these people, a word of warning: they may be a little unusual.

Pay no attention to any photographs of stalkees, severed limbs, etc, etc, they might have.

You wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable.

Once you have failed to recognise them, meet them at the right location, or at the right time, notice their personal characteristics, ethnicity, sex, or sociopathic tendencies, you might like to fail to agree to share a cup of coffee or a beer with them, in one of the many fine cafes in your vicinity.



nailpolishblues said...

Oh my god! It was you!

That was pretty accurate - based on a version of a true story that a friend of a friend once told you about their neighbour's cousin's friend's aunt's sister's daughter's friend's brother?

TimT said...

I *knew* I recognised you!

This may simply reflect my presence at various grogbloggings, where I have to say, I haven't run into any stalkers yet ... though I'm not sure if the people I met can say the same thing ...

nailpolishblues said...

The reasons for that are simple. You are too far away to stalk and I've never been to a grogblogging.

Wait, did I type that or just think it. I just thought it. Yeah. It's all good...

TimT said...

Another drink?

nailpolishblues said...

In the words of the prophet - fuck yeah.

ras said...

Hrmmm, for some reason I feel like I've just walked in on someone having sex


I can relate, I have been in this situation before, but not with a blogger, more with people off chat rooms.

I even stayed with one in Melbourne once for a week...

TimT said...

You know, I've never really been into chat rooms, but it would be the same thing.

Meeting bloggers is strange, because they're often much more open in their blog than they are in person.

ras said...

There I am the exception to the rule,
I tell people my deepest fantasies on first meeting.
Maybe why they dont hang around very long!

TimT said...

There again, I am equally cagey in person as I am on my blog. Consistently inconsistent, you might say. It's easier for me to get into the whole 'blogs as voyeurism' thing than the 'blogs as self-expression' thing.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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