Sunday, August 24, 2008

Animals that work with humans!

#703: Guide dog for the blind drunk

The guide dog for the blind drunk must be a highly-trained and capable canine, able to handle himself in a number of situations. He must be able to find a way to the bar for his drunk, and when the night is done, find a way home again.

Commands he will be expected to learn:
"Left! No, not left, right! Why ish the world s-s-s-shpinning around?"
"Sssshtop! No, go! Wait... ish that a car coming, or did I jusht run into a shhhhhop window?"
"Shhhay, do you come herrrre ofschen?"

The guide dog for the blind drunk will feel comfortable on taxis, trains, buses, and with being the designated driver for the night. It is also desirable that the guide dog for the blind drunk possesses fast-talking skills for when the police pull the car over and ask his owner why the hell a dog's driving the car.


Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

It's almost persuaded me to give up my blind sobriety, the thought of one of these hounds.

TimT said...

The guide dog for the blind drunk steps up to the stage, acknowledges the applause, and takes a bow wow.

ruff... I mean... redsaid said...

I WANT ONE!!!!!! NOT because I'm blind, understand. But because I'm a drunk! That should be more than enough qualification!

Never will there be a feline up for such a task.

(Oh, and should there be a bit of an accident or run-in of some kind, the puppy will be able to dial K-9-1-1, right?)

TimT said...

I'd be shocked if the dog couldn't do it.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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