Now he belongs to the ages, again

NEW YORK, Sunday - John F Kennedy, who shocked the world and shot to instant fame in the 1960s by being assassinated, has died, surrounded by friends and family.

Kennedy was by far the oldest surviving of the United States' assassinated presidents. He spent most of the time after his assassination with his family on the west coast, although he did once guest star on an episode of 'Assassinated Presidents - Where Are They Now?' for CBS television.

DID YOU KNOW As every US school child learns in first grade, JFK's famous predecessor, Abraham Lincoln, felt that his unplanned assassination by John Wilkes Booth was a career high, and indeed, no-one was surprised when he died shortly after his funeral by choking on an overcooked crouton, and sending an already-grieving nation into paroxysms of grief never seen before and since. As a Edwin Stanton noted at the time, "Now he belongs to the ages, again." However, others, paraphrasing Oscar Wilde, might say "Once is bad enough, twice looks like carelessness." However, Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt, who drowned at sea in the 1970s, went on to lead a very happy life as a bean farmer in the southern highlands of New South Wales, and was later heard to proclaim to friends at family, "My drowning was the best thing to ever happen to me in my political career."

IN OTHER NEWS - Presidential assassination candidate Barack Obama yesterday visited Iowa, canvassing large crowds and delivering rousing speeches in his bid to become the next Assassinated Presidential Elect. Meanwhile, John McCain has been rousing support amongst members of the NRA in the southern states for his own bid for presidential assassination, rallying voters with friendly jokes such as "Go on! Take a shot at me! I won't move!". He is also reported to be seeking the help of experienced campaigner Dick Cheney.