Saturday, September 11, 2010

An open and heartfelt letter

To the Person Who Left the Chocolate Bar Sitting All Alone On Top Of The Sweets Machine At Work For Several Hours, Not Once Coming Back To It,

Just who do you think you are, hmmm? What did chocolate ever do to you that caused you to abandon it in so cruel, so unjustifiable a fashion? Did you think the chocolate bar looked at you in the wrong way or something? You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Chocolate never hates. Chocolate loves. Chocolate is kind and witty and humorous and entirely pleasurable company, and it is very tasty too. I'm taking this chocolate bar out of your hands and you're never getting it back. It's coming to a loving home where it will be welcomed for its natural talents and its innate chocolatiness and its inborn ability to be eaten and appreciated by all and sundry. Don't worry, chocolate. You're safe now. Yum.

As for you, you person who abandoned this chocolate, perhaps you can think about what you've done.

Sincerely, Tim


Mitzi G Burger said...

Timt, perhaps the original purchaser of the abandoned chocolate received an urgent text message that his desk had been invaded by squealing Daleks?

Dan the VespaMan said...

Careful Tim, one day you will grab that seemingly innocent chocolate bar and discover it is attached to a string that activates a large cage to drop down on you.

Perhaps someone in your office was just testing the theory before putting their devious plan into action.

TimT said...

Do your worst, net-planting chocolate abandondoning Dalek fiends. I've eaten the chocolate and am unafraid.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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