Thursday, July 19, 2012

Troublesome difficulty of the day

Pondering recently on the strategical, tactical, physical, metaphysical, theological, ideological, and methodological, well, methodology of male micturation from a vertically upright position, I concluded that there are a number of complex complexities involved in such an operation that make it fraught with dangers, imperilled with difficulties, and an altogether bothersome trouble indeed.

It would not do to enter into an abstruse discussion of all these troublish difficulties here, save for the fact that the curvilinear nature of the cistern bowl, combined with the fact that the function of micturation from the vertically upright male homo sapien occurs from a height of some distance, and the increasing unreliability of the homo sapien's ocular organs with every chronologically increasing year, makes the possibility of the homo sapien in question committing an inaccuracy in the act of micturation, or possibly making a grave error in the direction of the parabolic arc of fluid emerging from him, thus causing dramatic but problematic rebounds, or just maybe missing altogether, seem increasingly possible, or (possibly) possibly increasing, which is something no entity in particularity desires.

(Notwithstanding these undoubtable factoids, neither can one cannot fully rule out the possibility that said male homo sapien, in a puckish spirit of mischief or, maybe, outright malice, has committed the error on purpose. But let us avoid this possibility by not entering into it in the first place.)

In contrast, then, happy are those male homo sapiens who, instead of chancing these dangers in the necessary act of expulsion of bodily fluids while remaining upright, instead opt, decide, and settle upon the seat offered them, and thus arrange what parts there are to arrange in order to perform their function in as efficient and cleanly a manner as possible!  Happy are those, too, who enter the facility after their departure, and find it just as clean, nay, cleaner, than the vestibule which they have exited!

Nevertheless, it does seem that it is the manly prerogative of all male homo sapiens to exercise their ability to micturate while in an upright vertical position, and this prerogative one would not wish to take off them; nay, it is a prerogative that one often enters into oneself, when one has the opportunity.

And that, in conclusion, and to sum up, is the final, if not last, word that one will have to utter on the subject. 

COMING UP: One will enter into a discussion of that other vital dilemma that confronts homo sapiens of all genders, and varieties, etcs, in the cistern: when faced with a few square sheets of papers and the necessity of manipulating said sheets of papers for the sake of one's health and pristine nature, does one exert excessive pressure on those papers beneath one's digits, or does one instead opt for the more bothermost trouble, and attempt to perform rectangular origami on them before applying them to one's nether regions? It is a most important topic, and we will undertake to examine it in some depth, in all possible likelihood.


DeusExMacintosh said...

Said prerogative is in fact a cultural construct - for example, Yoruba men in Africa pee sitting down (don't ask me how I know this).

TimT said...

I'd rather MYuba than YORuba. HAWHAWHAW... oh yeah. Not funny at all.

I was sort of thinking of those Swedish chaps who are apparently under some constraint to pee sitting down rather than standing up. (Equalising measure? Not sure.)

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive