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In an effort to stamp out passive smoking in public spaces, a suburban council has outlawed public spaces.

The Stunningdumb Council took the move on Friday, responding to a group of concerned signatures looking for a petition to fill out.

This is not the first time the Stunningdumb Council has taken such a move. On previous occasions, reacting to people dying in car crashes on public roads, the council has outlawed people. On another occasion, when several cases of unlicensed dog breeds attacking others occurred, the council ruled that from now on, only licensed dog breeds would be allowed to attack.

The Stunningdumb Council has consisted of an empty building and a set of paper sheets circulating from office to office ever since their bold and ambitious move to outlaw people in order to lower the number of road deaths. They are also the only place to exist in the world, as, after a series of intergovernmental disputes with the surrounding Whittlesea and Darebin Councils, they outlawed everyone doing anything else anywhere else in the world, and also the world too.

“We will continue to ensure that the Stunningdumb Council implements progressive polices for the 20th century,” said the Stunningdumb Council Mayor yesterday, or at least they would have said it if there was any person in the world existing to become Mayor of the Stunningdumb Council, which of course there wasn’t because see above and nor was there owing to see above.

We will continue to bring you stories on this development as it breaks.