Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Hairy Story

By the way, did you know a woman on the other side of the world gave birth to her first child the other day? It's true! In other news, ten thousand other women did the same thing, four thousand five hundred and sixty two sat and stared at the wall, one started to paint her toenails green with pink polka dots, and five ate turnips for breakfast.

Really, why should I care if Mary Donaldson gave birth? The Australian media seemed to think I should. It's something to do with her husband, who just happens to be a Grand Baron, or Dark Overlord, or Mighty Legislator, or Prince, or something like that. He's basically one of those ordinary guys who, through no fault of their own, are born into positions of ridiculous privilege and power.
Fairy story? Bugger off. I prefer the fairy story which ends with an entire town being tricked into jumping in a lake. Or with a witch being thrown in a barrel full of spikes and rolled into the ocean.

So, what does this new kid have to look forward to? Growing up in a palace? (Great - where's he going to go when he wants to get some Maccas?) Meeting Prime Ministers and talking economic policy (when he'd much rather be at home playing on an Xbox?) Being famous and appearing on the covers of all the Danish newspapers? And, um, being famous and appearing on the covers of all the Danish newspapers?
Personally, if I ever met this kid, I'd tell him to study his Family Tree. Not to find out about his great-great-great-grandfather's wife (and also his cousin), or the time when his uncles aunts uncles father conquered Transmistria, but because he'd find he shared a lot in common with the Family Tree.
After all, they're both rooted.


TimT said...

A little behind the times, I know. I was going to post this on the weekend, but ... I couldn't be bothered.

Plus, it was as irrelevant then as it is now.

Tim said...

Princess Mary? That was so last week. This week, if you don't have Diva Fever, you're rubbish!

Caz said...

All that for the sake of a punch line you've obviously been saving up!

Could do better next time; well shorter at least.

TimT said...

I take umbrage at that. This is a subject on which I am VERY PASSIONATE about, and I spent the time between now and the kids birth researching the subject in every newspaper I could find. No, really!

But I will do a lot for a punch line. My favourite punch line of all time comes from this joke:

Q. Why did the chicken?
A. Because the duck.

Haw, haw, haw. Why aren't you laughing?

Vikki said...

..."Because the DUCK!"

Haaaaaaaaahahaha! Now, that's funny.

Anyway. My sister had a baby like... THREE DAYS before Princess Mary. Princess Mary, you lose.

TimT said...

Take that, Mary!

Email: timhtrain - at -

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