Sunday, November 13, 2005

Ways To Amuse Yourself #3

While on public transport:

1) Set your mobile phones alarm for one minute
2) When the alarm goes off, pick up the phone
3) Bark into the phone: "Yes? What? Excellent. Kill the fuckers! KILL THEM ALL, I SAY! Only in such a consecration of blood can my father have his revenge! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Other possibilities:
- Use obscene bedroom speak, making everyone on the tram think you are speaking to an intimate lover;
- Talk in another language entirely. For instance, starting reciting Master Basho's haiku randomly into the phone.

This excellent method for amusing yourself will also work if you arrange for a friend to call you up.


Willow said...

Hahaha, I've heard some weird things from people talking on cell phones in public, and PLENTY of intimate bedroom talk!

TimT said...

Not me. Guess I'll just have to start listening in on more people's conversations. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, and technically, it's only a crime if you get caught, right?

jeff said...

I would strongly advise against the first idea if you visit America, unless you want a nice vacation in Guantanamo, or perhaps rot in hell in some former KGB dungeon in the Carpathians

TimT said...

Not even Texas???

Bozwell said...

"technically, it's only a crime if you get caught, right?"

Nothing is a crime unless you get caught!!!

coffee and cigarettes said...

dig the attitude Boz, now I feel like smashing shit up just to prove to myself that I won't get caught

Anonymous said...

Tell me you did this.

If you didn't, you have to.


TimT said...

No. But once I gave birth to Hitler on stage. Will that do?

Email: timhtrain - at -

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