Check out this big-ass German compound-noun I learnt in high school:
MEERWASSERHALLENWELLENSCHWIMMENBAD
It means something like hot water swim bath. But that's nothing compared to this big-ass German compound noun:
DONAUDAMPFSCHIFFAHRTSELEKTRIZITAETENHAUPTBETRIEBSWERKBAUUNTERBEAMTENGESELLSCHAFT
Apparently it means something like, "the club for subordinate officials of the head office management of the Danube steamboat electrical services."
Not that I'm a genius in the German-language or anything - I don't accidentally write posts in German while drunk, for instance - but I reckon those Germans have got it right. It's about time English got some more compound nouns of its own ...
Glass = Drinkthing
Knife = Cutthing
Once we get the basics of compound nouns, we can start working putting concepts together:
Fork = Eatthingthatgoeswithcutthing
Spoon = Othereatthingthatgoeswithcutthing
Sound beautiful, don't they? There are no end of everyday items that these nouns can be applied to. Transport items, for instance:
Car = Itemthatgoesvroom
Road = Longflatstonyobjectthatitemthatgoesvroomgoesvroomon
Or things of nature:
Tree = Woodthingwithleafystuff
Bird = Thingthatlivesinwoodthingwithleafystuff
Clothes:
Hat = Roundclothingitemforupperbodypart
Shops:
Market = Largeplaceforexchangingmoneywithgoodsand/orservices
And the body:
Head = Upperbodypart
Hand = Bodypartattheendofanotherbodypart
Once you get all this worked out, you can turn quite short, dull things like poems into impressively long and incomprehensible works of art. Thus:
I put my hat upon my head
And went into the Strand
And there I met another man
Whose hat was in his hand.
(Dr Johnson)
This becomes this:
I put my roundclothingitemforupperbodypart upon myupperbodypart
And went into the largeplaceforexchangingmoneywithgoodsand/orservices
And there I met another collectionofseveralbodyparts
Whose roundclothingitemforupperbodypart was in his bodypartattheendofanotherbodypart
Or this brief quatrain:
One day I saw a bird
Sitting in a tree
And that little tiny bird
Was looking back at me.
Becomes this epic of personal experience:
One day I saw a thingthatlivesinleafystuff
Up in a woodthingwithleafystuff
And that little tiny thingthatlivesinleafystuff
Was looking back at me.*
*(I'm still working on a compound noun for this one. It's a toughie.)
Wonderful, no?
No?
UPDATE - What's that - this post was boring? Oh, go and look up swear words in the dictionary then. Some people are never amused!
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6 comments:
Have you been smoking the wacky baccy Tim? Please say yes cos I'd hate to think you think this stuff without it.
Well. Even better than Esperanto. I'm sure this will catch on, Tim
Now I remember what it reminds me of: Entish
Waccybaccyless, I'm afraid, Kathryn.
BA - "If a things worth saying, it's worth taking a long time to say" - from that Ent guy. I forget what his name was. I was actually going to use that quote somewhere in this piece. That quote pretty much summarises Tolkien's style.
hehehe funny stuff
Gesundheitswiederherstellungszusammenmischungsverhaeltniskundiger
[One who knows the mixture ratio of a concoction that is sure to
restore health]
One o' my faves!!
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