BABYEZE (tm) is a tried and tested product of the Huggex Laboratories in Switzerland! It eases your urge to breed and instead creates nice, happy feelings in you*.
But how does this magical BABYEZE (tm) work, I hear you scream? What's the proof? I'm glad you asked. After extensive testing with the latest Baby Models**, Huggex Laboraties have isolated an extremely addictive pheromone - called 'Cuteromonex' - emitted by babies in the presence of females. That's right - poo and piss are not the only things those babies exude! They are in fact highly advanced women-magnets, targeting with deadly accuracy the pleasure centres in the human brain!
That's where BABYEZE (tm) comes in! You see, at the Huggex Laboratories we have perfected a substance which supplies all your 'Cuteromonex' needs, at barely five per cent of the cost of a normal human baby***! That's right - next time you feel the urge to bring forth a squalling bairny into this world, why not go to the chemist instead and procure yourself a bottle of BABYEZE (tm) spray?****
* Any similarity of BABYEZE (tm) to opium is purely coincidental.
** Baby Models graciously supplied by the ACME Baby-Making Corporation, Pty Ltd.
*** Poop and piss sold separately.
****BABYEZE (tm) also comes in arm patches and pill form.
PRINT THIS FORM, FILL OUT THE DETAILS, AND SEND IT WITH CHEQUE OR MONEY ORDER AND RETURN STAMPS TO: HUGGEX INTERNATIONAL LABORATORIES, VON HEURISTIC LANE, GENEVA, SWITZERLAND.
YES! I, _________________, would like to have a bottle or ten of BABYEZE (tm) handy for when those maternal hormones start up! I would like to start off with (please circle appropriate amount):
1 (one) bottle of BABYEZE (tm) ($1,000.00 Australian)