Monday, June 19, 2006

Otter Codswallop? Or, a Tale of Herring-Do?

Woman Marries Fish!

In a move set to shock the world, Ms S. T. of London married the love of her life, a 700 pound dolphin.
World leaders may have their own opinions about the growing amount of person-fish marriages, but what do YOU think? We took to the streets to find out!

It's love, Jim - but not as we know it! Flappy, the dolphin, who yesterday married Ms. S.T. in a simple but moving ceremony...

"Good Cod, this is fantastic news! I am so happy for them both!"
- Effie Embula, Fish Likers of the Cotswolds.

"I can't believe I'm herring this! Person and fish are not meant to be together!"
- Tod Umble, Fish Separationist Society

"I hear when they signed the register, a seal and an eel sealed the deal: is this seal/eel spiel the real deal?"
- Andrew Erple, Society for the Investigation of Claims Relating to Seals and Eels.

"Otter nonsense. The mighty Cod (Dory-fried be his name!) has a porpoise for us all, and this is an insult to all believers!"
- Jeffrey de Manx, worshipper at the Watery Church, Port of Melbourne, Australia.

"Sounds like a fishy deal to me."
- John Berton, fish sceptic.

"Sounds more like a dishy feel to me!"
- Irma Harma Wewedigong, Fish Feeling For Sensual Satisfaction Society.

"Hmmph. They've completely pilchard this idea from me. I married Salmon Flushdie ten years ago!"
- Ms Holibon nee Flushdie, Woollongong, Australia.

"I don't mean to be FLIPPER-ant about this!!!, but don't you FIN-d!!!! that they'll both end up feeling GILL-ty!!! after a time?????"
- Simone Armone, Society for Making Bad Puns About Fish

"Does the wish to kiss fish lead us to bliss, or should we dismiss this fish-kissing wish?"
- Peter Piper, a philosophical fisher of Phyrgia.

"Call me a flake, but this news is filleting me with pleasure. Things are just getting batter and batter. And I don't care if you DO come the raw prawn with me - when you're in love, nothing is shrimpossible!"
- Egon Ulch, the Malvern Seafood Shop Frequenter's Subcomittee.

"I hope they have a WHALE of a time!"
- Tom Clinker, well-wisher.


ras said...

You know this is probably not the time to mention i once read a manual of actual dolphin person carnal gave detailed instructions for both men and women on how to err do the deed with dolphins

TimT said...

People are strange.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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