Sunday, May 30, 2010


"If a motel is a hotel for cars," I said, "A hotel for boats is a flowtel."

Well, what do you think of that? Not bad, I thought. Not bad - for an off-the-cuff remark late on a Friday night while one is out with one's parents and one has maybe drunk one or two pots of rather nice beer and is feeling rather expansive.

The trouble is, I thought this joke was so uniquely original and wonderful that I repeated it to the Baron the day afterwards while we were both on a long train trip. And then spent the rest of the hour with her turning up new versions of the same pun. A partial list is provided below.

A hotel for turtles is a slowtel
A hotel for assumed identities is a fauxtel
A hotel for boyfriends is a beautel
A hotel for emergencies is an 000tel
A hotel frequented by the Three Stooges is a Larrycurlymotel
A hotel for display is a showtel
A luminescent hotel is a glotel
A hotel for ski trips is a snowtel
A hotel for conferences regarding the significance of 19th-century American fantasy literature is a Poetel
A hotel with a particularly rancorous odour is an eaughtel
A hotel where they hold elections is a votel
A hotel for Santa Claus's is a hohohotel
A hotel for epistemologists is a knowtel
A hotel for Napoleon's girlfriend is a Jotel
A hotel for cloven-hoofed ruminants is a goatel...

Anyway. You can see where this is all going, and where it has been - nowhere particularly interesting. However, it's worth noting that a hotel for women of ill-repute is a hotel, and a hotel for people with moustaches is a motel. Also - and this has just occurred to me now - a hotel full of tinea sufferers is a toehel.


Dan the VespaMan said...

A hotel for flora is a growtel.
A hotel people who give opinions that are neither negative nor positive is a so-sotel.
A hotel for people who describe their experiences in extensive detail is a blow-by-blowtel.
A hotel for people who can keep secrets is a no-tell.

TimT said...

My favourites are the ones like 'so-sotel' and 'blow-by-blowtel', because the pun is more unexpected.

TimT said...

A hotel for appropriate comments is an apropos-tel.

This game could really go on for years...

Karen said...

Farmers: an EIEIOtel
Grief counsellors: a woetel
Premiers of Queensland: a Johtel
Bakers: a doughtel
Pragmatists: a statusquotel

TimT said...

A hotel for people who read Randolph Stow: A Stowtel!

Karen said...

A Stowtel, yes! I'd stay there!

Email: timhtrain - at -

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