Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Whine critics

Wine drinkers: spend most of their time drinking lots of wine.

Wine critics: spend some of their time drinking a very little wine, and then spend a lot of time inventing bizarre phrases to describe the little wine that they have drunk. These phrases could include 'sparkling Beaujolais', and 'hearty and invigorating Burgundian finish', which very few of us understand.

Clearly, of the aforementioned, wine drinkers have far more on-the-ground experience and practical knowledge of the area of concern. It is true, wine critics are able to use phrases like 'sparkling Beaujolais' and 'hearty and invigorating Burgundian finish' which the typical wine drinker would not be able to understand when sober or even pronounce when drunk, but that is hardly an excuse, is it?

How and why things should be this way is one of the great mysteries of the universe, and perhaps you'd like to formulate your own theories (philosophical, mathematical, or theoretical-physical) as to this important matter. However, maybe it is time to give wine drinkers, who are in the act of drinking their wine, a go at writing wine criticism, (while they are drinking their wine, naturally.) True, the results may be just as incomprehensible, and wine drinkers will probably spend less time talking about 'sparkling Beaujolais' and more time discussing wildly varying subjects in a series of bizarre, unrelated non-sequiturs, like their mothers favourite football team - but isn't it time they were given a go?



Steve said...

Hmm. I think you needed more research into the types of phrases wine critics use before attempting to half-parody them. And this wasn't inspired by my commenting on the herbaceous characteristics of sauvignon blanc recently, was it?

Steve said...

I hasten to point out that some SB does taste like grass. A bit.

TimT said...

What, should I have said 'frisky little Beaujolais' instead? I actually did hear a wine critic use a similar phrase on radio just recently.

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