If humans were amorphous amoebic watery blobs, would we relax in an Oozy Chair at the end of a long day? Would clocks tell the slime instead of the time? Would we call interesting people 'Drips' instead of applying that description to boring people? Would we, in fact, call our President or Prime Minister the Drip-in-chief? When we saw a friend arriving, would we greet them with the words, 'Here comes blubble!' Would we sing songs to our beloved every time we left one another, beginning with the words 'Parturition is such sweet sorrow...'
If humans were amorphous amoebic watery blobs, things would be a lot different. That's for sure.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- Mel...
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Croucherisms...
- Was two peas, now three peas
- Desciopolous!
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- Erin...
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- Gempiricalisations
- TonyT
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Jellyfish
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(316)
-
▼
July
(29)
- If humans were amorphous amoebic watery blobs
- Out now from SMACME products
- Ian Thorpe
- Zealed the deal
- Abstract semiotic concept - This is your life!
- Raaaaaaaaaage!
- The ultimate death match: footballers versus garde...
- Thursday clerihews
- This is what I get up to with my spare time
- Paradoxes of the space-timetabular continuum
- Conversation overheard in the toilets at the Trade...
- Thankfully, no
- Public health announcement
- It's all in the delivery man
- They walk amongst us
- Like a possessed baritone, I can't stop bloody sin...
- Benedict gets down wid da homies
- And stay up there!
- I still don't know
- Epigrams of the tax office
- Coleridge never had to work for a media monitoring...
- The Quibs and Bunning Writers Exchange Program #2
- The eternal wisdom of SuperTed
- Living in the leaky-styrofoamed lap of luxury
- The public transport chronicles, #1001
- The five greatest commas in literary history
- Schmuck Friday
- The Quibs and Bunning Writers Exchange Program #1
- Junk food ads for people with eating disorders
-
▼
July
(29)
9 comments:
I think Wet Ones would be me and my friends and hygienic moist tissues would be Humans.
I also would check my heater a lot. To make sure it were off and I didn't dry out.
Maybe I wouldn't have a heater, even. Maybe I'd have a Wetter.
Gosh! And I'd have to check it were on a lot.
Life gets more and more complicated.
If so, I would happily evaporate my evil former real estate agent; or grow an algae on him; or put him in a freezer and drop his frozen bob-shape off a high bridge into a craggy ravine, to be dashed to ameobic smithereens. Ah, sweet, amorphous revenge.
What if we humans were dark matter instead of atoms?
What then hey?
I demand answers!
Maria - also, young Baby Boomer blobs in the 1950s would thrill to such horrifying tales as 'The Human!' Or 'The Thing Not from the Swamp!'
Mitzi - I'll be happy to join you in such a bloodcurdling act of amoebic vengeance.
Caz - But isn't dark matter just unseen matter - ie, still made out of atoms?
There was a theory that turning on a new particle accelerator would somehow turn the earth, and everyone on it, into little non-atomic particles called strangelets. Which sounded weirdly attractive.
Incidentally, I just sent a story off to a magazine called 'The Cold Dark Matter of Life' on similar topics.
Er, that is the story was called 'The Cold Dark Matter of Life' - not the magazine.
There I bloody well go, dangling my bloody modifiers and splitting my infinitives again.
Ah, no, see that's the whole problem Timmy.
We only know what about 10% of the universe if made up of, that is: atoms.
The other 90% is unknown.
Seriously.
We know not what is out there, but we know it's there, and it's not atoms.
Freaky.
Do keep us appraised of any success with having your stories published.
Oh, I see - well, that's a fair comment then.
I'm currently trying to bring this story to the attention of the (evidently rather) lax editors of that magazine, a nice little Aussie SF magazine that is nevertheless rather lacking in the efficiency department.
Had a small success with another story, a mini-fiction of under 50 words, that I submitted to a Melbuourne Uni postgrad journal's writing competition. Got as a prize three copies of their journal. I'm not sure if they intend to publish it.
That's very mini indeed. It maketh my poor mind boggle [admittedly not taking much at the moment.]
You have an expectation of efficiency from SF mag editors?
That's so sweat, you're adorable.
Post a Comment