Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The Emoticon Decoded

You know what really annoys me? That little emoticon guy! Yeah, him! I mean, where does he get off with all his fake smiles and laughs? You just can't trust him. You never know what's really on his mind. It's like with all those annoying people who laugh all the time - you just know that they wouldn't be laughing if they weren't secretly hysterical manic psychotic depressive schizophrenics.
I reckon that little emoticon guy is evil. Yeah. Yeah, he's got an agenda alright, a twisted, nasty little agenda that involves lots of obscene and violent things. You just have to go beneath that smarmy grin, and find out what's REALLY going on ...

Fantasising about sex.

Subtly farting in a crowded elevator.

I want to kill them all.

Fantasising about sex with someone who is subtly farting in a crowded elevator.

I have just had my eyes removed with a blunt knife.

Fantasising about sex with a murderer who is subtly farting in a crowded elevator.

I am undergoing surgery to become a goat.

I am carrying an LSD bomb behind my false teeth. If you make me laugh, it will explode.

I am secretly being sodomised by a Satanist and am amused that not one of you know.

Sleeping in a bathtub of solidified green jelly and dreaming about making love to Gwyneth Paltrow.

They must all be punished.

Ladies and gentlemen, the reign of terror by the smiley guy has gone on for too long. HE MUST BE STOPPED.


Tim said...

lol very good

p.s. :)

TimT said...

I prefer Assicons and Titicons.

nailpolishblues said...

But he's so cuuuuuuuuuuute!

TimT said...

He is evilevilevil!

nailpolishblues said...

Cute and evil can co-exist. Give me a few months and I'll find an example..

TimT said...

A few months? Give me a few minutes. Cop this kitty!

rachy said...

Nails and Tim, you want a hybrid of cute and evil? Starts with R... muuuuaaaaaaahahahahahaha

rachy said...

and I'm not going to say what that photo looks like either... that's me being demure!

TimT said...

The authority on all things evil has to be this guy. Cuteness is another matter. But the picture did come from him ...

nailpolishblues said...

Warkitty rocks.

Pure filth, Rach :P

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