News Break

The debate over global warming is heating up.
A recent study performed by the Avatar Briefs Institute of Piratologistic Research has shown that there is a clear relationship between global temperature and the amount of pirates on the high seas.
Caz, spokespirate and chief scientist for the institute, is calling for "vigorous implementation of pirate apprenticeship schemes in all parts of the world, but most particularly focused in first world developed countries" to address the global warming problem.
John Howard, Tony Blair, and George Bush have all stated that "they will look closely at the study".

However, the study has come in for heavy criticism from some experts, especially the Ned Kelly Establishment of Higher Bushrangerism, who claim that the study relies on flawed research.
"Isn't it time we moved on from this type of 'research', so called?" said their spokesperson, Arthur 'Thunderbolt' Timplebum. "We no longer live in the bad-old days, when pirates and buccaneers ruled the high seas."
The Kelly Establishment have completed an alternative study. They claim that it proves that there is "a proportional relationship between the number of bushrangers on our streets" and global warming. They are calling for immediate international protocols to encourage the growth in the bushranger sector. They are petitioning the UN for an immediate increase in the amount of bushrangers, as a matter of international urgency.
They have already won the endorsement of several high-profile individuals, including Gough Whitlam and Tim Flannery.


*Diagram from the study released by the Avatar Briefs Institute.