Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Pretty Words

Hello. My name is Adam.
I have Tourettes SynFUCK!SHIT!CUNT!drome, which
Makes me shout and SUCKMYFUCKINGARSE! a lot:
It is a real bitch.

Like, once, I went to ask this girl
Out upon a date:
Tomorrow night at eight?"

She stared at me quite strangely,
Said, "Are you making fun?"
I instantly replied, "Oh no!
It's just that I've got AXEBLOOYMURDERDGUN!"

She clapped her hands together,
And, "Oh!" she said, "Me too!"
Ever since I POO!TIT!COCK!WEE!
And to think I never knew!"

So next year we got married.
And we'll never ever part -
Because - you know what our secret is?


rachy said...

outSTANDING ... don't forget that on Saturday!

Tim said...

I shouldn't laugh, but I am.

Rachy said...

yes you should laugh!!! I laughed so hard that I was crying and the back of my head hurt

vague said...

That's great! I knew a guy in college who had tourettes, and he cracked me up--he didn't swear so much as RANDOMLY SAY A BUNCH OF HIS WORDS REALLY FUCKING LOUD! It was all excitement all the time.

TimT said...

Thanks everyone! I'm working on another one:

Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
I have short-term memory loss.

I think it palls a little there in the middle, but I'm quite happy with the conclusion.

Tourettes Syndrome is fascinating. What on earth could make a person go about randomly shouting words without being able to help it? Apparently a lot of guys who have Tourettes can be really musical ... was it true for that guy you knew in college, Vague?

Stewed Hamm said...

Brillian poem, Tim. I laughed, I cried, I MOTHERRAPINGPORCHFUCKERS!!

vague said...

Hmm...I think the guy was a business major, but I can't really remember. Apparently people with tourette's also frequently have OCD, at least that's what I was told by the film Dirty Filthy Love, which, by the way, is pretty good.

TimT said...

*Sniff* you guys is alright.

BTW, my dear wife and I now have three beautiful children: ArthPOO!BUM!CRAP!ur, MarGARGAWARGAGARGAWARGA!ianna, and little baby KILL!KILL!KILL!KILL!Juliette.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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