Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Four Stages of Drunkeness

Stage 1: Diagnosis
You remember everything you say to others perfectly well, and are happy to stand by it afterwards.

Stage 1: Cure
You're not drunk, you're just faking it. Have another drink.

Stage 2: Diagnosis
You remember everything you say to others perfectly well, and wish you had said something else.

Stage 2: Cure
Drinking is an excellent way to forget.

Stage 3: Diagnosis
You do not remember everything you say very well, and you wish the others wouldn't repeat it to you afterwards.

Stage 3: Cure
The only solution is to get them drunk. Lead by example, have a beer.

Stage 4: Diagnosis
Not only do you not remember things you say very well, but you are even worse at remembering things you never said, but which others talk about afterwards.

Stage 4: Cure
There seems nothing else to do: drink again. Go on, it will help you work out a solution.


TimT said...

Mmmm, Stage 4 drunkenness ...

Darlene said...

Well, if you want drunkenness don't forget to organise next grogblogging.

TimT said...

Only if you and your soooooooooooooooooocks promise to come along!

TimT said...

Sorry. There should have been only ten 'o's' in that word. In my greed, I used almost double that amount ...

BourbonBird said...

This may be the most informative and apropos post I've read all day.

Gempires said...

My friend, I am visiting your blog after an absence and it must be said: you are the most sublimely absurd creature alive or dead (or whichever is closest today).

TimT said...

Thanks, Bourbs.

Gem, it wouldn't be so easy if life weren't so absurd ...

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive