Jet lag: The most common aircraft illness. The body has difficulty adjusting itself to different time zones. An extreme case of jet lag occurred in 1977 when famed international aeronaut J P Botherskyte flew around the world five times, leaving his body five days in the past. He would have fallen into a coma there and then had he not had the presence of mind to fly backwards around the world, five times fast, by which time his body had caught back up with him.
Reverse jet lag: Occurs when you fly backwards too much. J P Botherskyte's arch-nemesis, Artilo Magniolosque, made the mistake of attempting to win the 'Flying Backwards Championships of 1988' by flying backwards around the world 365 TIMES! By that time his vbody had got so far ahead of him in the future that it decided to stay there. Magnilosque promptly crashed his plane in the Pacific Ocean, and if his body had been there it would undoubtedly have drowned.
Lug lag: Feeling one gets after heaving gigantic items of luggage around airports for extended spaces of time.
Claustrophobia: Fear of being in enclosed spaces - ie, fear of sitting in a seat that is just a little too short, small, and low to be comfortable. Usually justified.
Laustrophobia: 1) Fear that comes upon a person halfway over the Pacific Ocean - that the pilot has no idea where they are.
2) Same as 1), except the person who has that fear is the pilot.
3) Fear that one is about to become part of a bizarre television plot that increases in unlikelihood as the season progresses.
Bleughstrophobia: Fear of the dangers of regurgitation on long distance flights.
Cordonblestrophobia: Fear that the curious French-style foodstuffs given to you will come alive mid-flight, develop tentacles, and attempt to devour your brains, a la Alien. (Uncommon)
Cramputation: Effect caused by sitting in a seat that is a little too short, small, and low to be comfortable, resulting in loss of sensation to one's limbs after a long flight.
Metromania: Pathological dislike of cities, causing one to fly to extreme distances and politically-unstable Pacific Island economies to avoid them.
Tasmania: Pathological dislike of people called 'Tas', causing one to fly extreme distances (and to unlikely Australian states) to avoid them.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (71)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- In Which Nothing Is Said, And Great Deal Isn't Imp...
- A Serious Case Of Conceptual Pornography Art
- Post Made For The Purposes Of A Pun
- Honest Spam
- Off Topic
- Stuff Wot I Have Read
- An Explanation of un-Australianess.
- A Cultural Evening
- Slam Sham
- Dude Food Blogging
- The Seven Derangements of Doctor Arturo Quar
- My Charity Is Bigger Than Your Charity
- Craptitude Test
- In My Humble Opinions
- Celebrity Dog? Give Me Snowy Anyday...
- A Possible Solution To Our Energy Woes
- The Fable of the Largely Unsatisfying Fable
- Headlines Spotted
- A Pointless Story
- Esq Train, Third Gutter on the Left
- Whale of a Time
- Life is Change...
- The Magazine For Highly Concerned Inattentive Peop...
- Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad (In Your Pants)
- A New Lexicon For International Air Travellers
- At Narita Airport
- A Definition
- Broadway Nights and Subway Days and Matinees
- I think, therefore I Amish: Further Scintillating ...
- Great Moments In Junk Food
- Loving Expletives Redolent With Nostalgia
- Ex-Ex-Gay Comes Out Of the Closet (Again)
- Just You, Me, My Subconscious Mind, and All Those ...
- Trip to Philadelphia - a Photo Essay
- The Things On Pier 39, and other San Francisco Pic...
- A Tip on Tips
- San Franciso, in an Unpredictable Fashion
- Not Me
- ▼ March (38)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)