Sunday, March 25, 2007

Slam Sham

Toddling off to this event this afternoon. Performance poetry is kind of fun, if you get the right atmosphere happening and there's not too many idiots on stage, so we'll see how it goes. I'm just jotting down some ideas after a poem was suggested to me yesterday - here's what I've got so far:

A Poem By Timothy H. Train

1. Orthodox Jews

I like Orthodox Jews,
From their yarmulke to their shoes!
Stuff drinking at the bar,
I prefer Bar Mitzvah -
Yes, I like Orthodox Jews!

I never get the blues
When I'm around Orthodox Jews!
They can talk about the Torah
More, and more, and morer -
Yes of all the people in the world,
It's the chosen people that I choose!
I like Orthodox Jews!

2. Palestinians

Palestinians are funny,
Though suicide bombing is so very, very wrong.
Their beards are long and runny,
Their disposition is generally sunny,
And Yasser Arafat reminds me of the Easter Bunny!
Although suicide bombing is so very, very wrong,
Palestinians are funny!

3. Americans

Really, there is a lot that can be said for the Americans!

4. Amish

Hooray for the Amish!
Some people like Martin,
But I prefer Kingsley Amish!
Hooray for the Amish!

5. Italians

The Italians look especially cute
If you put them in a business suit!

6. North Koreans

I really am quite fond of the North Koreans,
And I don't mind the Japanese either!

Needs more work. Anyway, I'll let you all know later on how the event was.

UPDATE! - Well, the attempted irony in this poem seems to have had a use-by-date of half a day. I think I'll give it a miss this evening and read out one of my better efforts. Cheers folks. Sorry to inflict that nonsense on you.

UPDATE UPDATE! - Right then. Apparently they changed the time, or it was never going to be on, or something. Well, the poster said register by 8pm. And it still does, on their website. God, what a load of bollocks all round.


deeleea said...

what can be said for the kiwis mr T?

TimT said...

I am saying nothing of the Kiwis, for fear of incurring the vengeance and righteous wrath of PM Helen Clark.

As a matter of fact, I may have said too much already.

Anonymous said...

...ahem. Is this on? Hello? *tap, tappity tap*

I Like Kiwis

I like Kiwis
But not when they're on their kneewis
They're tall and they're black
And they don't remind me of Steve Bracks

I like Kiwis
(But not so much when they're nearwis)
An ocean divides us
But language unites us

I like Kiwis
And all of their queer ways
From fush to chups by way of puns and pincils
Not much of a reason really.

TimT said...

If Pitir Pupir pucked a puck of puckled pippirs, how many pucks of puckled pippirs dud Pitir Pupir puck?

TimT said...

(NZ folk rhyme)

TimT said...

Ah, national stereotypes!

Email: timhtrain - at -

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