In an excess of avuncularity, this morning as I was crossing the train tracks, I cheerfully raised my hat at the train as it hurtled forwards, blowing its horn at me to get out of the way.
They really should ban weekends; the happiness caused is terribly dangerous for one's health.
UPDATE! - It was foolish of me, I admit it now.
If I had dropped my hat, what might have happened to it?
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15 comments:
You may have needed to purchase a new hat.
Possibly new limbs, also.
Please refrain from displaying such courtesies to train drivers in future, lest we be left bereft of both you and your occasional gratuitous fudge photos.
I once dashed across a gusty, snow-lined street in mid-to-upper New York to save this hat. You could be right.
It could be worse, Caz. He could end up on one of those posters - blah blah blah, hit by train, cost me an arm and a leg. I hate those posters. There's no reason I should have to see such graphic evidence of other people's stupidity every time I catch a train. Plenty of evidence of people being stupid actually on the trains.
Against a red light, I might add. In front of oncoming traffic.
Nails, you haven't seen stupid until you've seen a genuine example of the Melbourne ticket inspector.
Druggie chewing the seats? No problem! Got the wrong ticket? YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE, SIR!
You know, I've never seen a ticket inspector on shittyrail. I've had tickets checked by cops at Newtown station, been spoken to by cops at Newtown station, seen cops with sniffer dogs attacking people at Newtown station, and seen cops (en masse) attacking a child at Central but never once have I seen an actual ticket inspector. I might have to visit Melbourne just to confirm that such a job really exists somewhere in the world.
P.S. I bet you've been hit by Trains before...
Oh dear, more of the obvious.
Most stations aren't manned, and the way isn't actually barred by ticket machines, so random ticket inspectors on the train are considered necessary. They're a useless bunch who manage to make everybody on the train feel as if they're not trusted. Somebody should give them garbage bags and a pay raise to pick up all the rubbish left over on the seats by slobs who are too lazy to pick up after themselves.
In other news, I am turning into my great grandfather. Or someone who is much, much older than me.
No, you've just reached that stage where people who were the age you're at now seemed really old to you and said stuff like that to you as a child.
Um..?
I expect I will decline into drivelling idiocy and senility by next year, and die ranting at the nurse about how things have gone downhill ever since the war of Jenkins ear. Those devilish Portuguese have a lot to answer for!
So you think it'll take an entire year?
Only if I'm not trying very hard.
Trying too hard is a problem then..?
I prefer to take decrepitude at a leisurely pace. Also replying to comments on my blog.
Take everything at a leisurely pace, that's my motto.
It's okay, you don't have to reply. It's not like I'm gonna go off in a sulk and never come back.
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