A news story published today caused so much controversy and dispute in the international media, that it could not even agree with itself!
"The first paragraph disagreed with the second paragraph, the second paragraph sneered at the first paragraph, and that was just the start of it," said the first paragraph this morning. "Basically, the second paragraph just didn't get it."
However, the second paragraph disagreed.
"The paragraph above me is stupid," started the second paragraph. "It's ridiculously ignorant - I mean, it's been sitting on top of me all day and hasn't even been aware of my existence!"
Feuding and intercine warfare has already broken out between different parts of the news story, including the first two paragraphs, and international authorities are becoming worried. There seems to be no end in sight.
Meanwhile, the third paragraph calmly and quietly sat beneath the first two paragraphs and disagreed with them both.
"I'll take you all," said the third paragraph in a prepared statement to the media (the first and second paragraphs just happening to be that media).
The third paragraph then bared its arms, flexed its muscles, and waded into the fray.
There are fears that, if the news story continues much longer, it could develop into an international incident.
The paragraph just below me is stupid!
Even headlines of the news story are causing controversy, like the idiotic one just above the fourth paragraph. However, authorities agree that the headline above is not half so idiotic as the headline immediately below the fourth paragraph.
What authorities are you talking about, you senseless dunderpate?
In a new development in this fast-breaking news story, the headline for the fifth paragraph has just started calling the last sentence for the fourth paragraph names. Not so the fifth paragraph itself, which lives a life of quiet contentment, knowing that it alone of all the paragraphs in the news story is absolutely right.
However, an opinion poll for the column appears to have gone off its rockers, stopping random paragraphs in the news story and asking them what their opinion is of it.
We'll bring you new developments in this story as they occur.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2017 (30)
- ► 2016 (71)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- Uber Psychedelic
- You learn a new something every day
- Avuncularity, Excess Of
- Bonus Fudge Post!
- The illicit felicit
- The Progress Theatre
- Letters from the hedge
- To spoon your buffon by the light of the moon
- Craptacular in Technicolour
- The theory of natural rejection
- A charitable initiative
- Help! The samples are attacking!
- News Story So Controversial It Disagrees With Itse...
- Allusions of Grandeur
- Craptic Crossword
- Quick! Eight random things about myself...
- Abhorrent upgraded to Appalling
- The quality of Aunts
- Craption contest
- Sock Jocks!
- Attention, crossword people!
- Jane Austen gets saucy
- Quit while you're a header
- In the Offices of Power
- Cereal Commenter
- An Alekhine versus Capablanca moment
- Nature is Pretty #233
- Tomato sauce on the streets!
- This Blog's on a roll...
- A comment on comments
- Conflict of Interest
- Jurassic snark, and other examples of enviro-psych...
- ▼ July (34)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)