Sunday, July 15, 2007

Craptic Crossword

Half-hearted anagrams, puns that don't make sense, and mispelled acronyms - all this and less in the first* edition of the Will Type For Food Craptic Crossword.

Go here for a Microsoft Word version. Answers published in a day or two.

*(And, paradoxically, last.)



1. Moving your vowels can be a moving experience. (Though it can also make you feel really crappy.)

6. I’m a craven coward, Peter’s a craven idiot, and this guy’s a craven film director.

8. Metallic flea, backwards.

10. Turn the estimated time of arrival upside down, inside out, on its head, drag it through the past tense into the present tense, and serve. With cream.

11. Really dumb word I just used for filler. It’s both off topic, and backwards!

12. There’s a speleologist in the mica vestry – shoot him, Reverend!

14. A book section in brief, but not necessarily a brief section in the book. (Yep – it’s another stupid filler word.)

16. This guy is in love, Kate, in reverse. Talk about saucy!

18. Mm! She’s in madam!

19. “Sir is mixed up, and also confused.”

“Shut up, Jeeves!”

Sir also appears to be turning into a respected spiritual teacher.”

“I said shut up!”

20. I think I’ll just take a spot of afternoon repose on the mountain.


2. “Something in that man, Ichabod, is crazy!”

“That’s a really bad clue!”

3. The indebted person is hiding in the shower.

4. Up the ante by tidying the ante up, you CLEAN FREAK!

5. He sat on a tack, and started a war. (Wouldn’t you?)

7. There cat is in the silo becoming threshed up. But do let’s be philosophical about it.

9. “Something’s got into the driver! He’s drowning us all!”

“Glug – glug – glug…”

13. The figures read the same backwards and forwards. Fucking palindromes!

15. I joined her, ere today, at this very spot.

17. There’s a person in Survivor, and I can read her back to front.

Next week: the WTFF Findaturd, where I publish a bunch of over-obvious words in a 10 by 10 table, and you all throw cow-pats at the computer screen.

UPDATE! - Click on the image to be taken to the crossword solution.


TimT said...

I hereby open the floor for all the Cruciverbalists out there to leave comments in my comments saying how craptacular my effort is.

Caz said...

You'll have to give me time to go collect some cow-pats.

alexis said...

In the circumstances, I'm wary of giving you a pat on the head.

TimT said...

I prefer a hat on the head, true.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps best you give a pat on the back, Doctor.

Mitzi G Burger said...

I'm inclined to give this crossword to my students. May I have the author's permission?

TimT said...

I would be honoured, Mitzi! Though I'm not sure if it would be entirely suitable - I'm certainly not a habitual cryptic solver, and I may have mixed up some of the rules of correct clue-writing. Also, there's at least one dodgy word I used in there for filler (Clue 14).

As to pats, I must admit, I have always liked a pat of butter.

TimT said...

BTW, I hadn't realised how singularly dreadful it looked in Internet Explorer, so have now uploaded an image of the crossword.

Gianna said...

at the risking of sounding pat, you've definitely got cryptics down pat...

Tony.T said...

14. Sabbath's dest.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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