Madvertising

Welcome to Metaphysical Abdul's Two Dollar Store! "Our prices are unreal, but then, so are our products!"
	BOB KATTER IN A CAN! He's mad, he's bad, he's dangerous to know, he's in a can! Queensland's craziest politician, Bob Katter, now comes in a can with a pull top for your convenience. Best served with cauliflower and white sauce. Comes with baked beans and an extra side serve of patriotism! PLUS: Just add water to get an instant press conference about his views on privatisation and economic rationalism!
GARLIC OPPRESSOR! This little instrument of Oppression is perfect for those times in the kitchen when your garlic cloves threaten insurrection.
	CONDESCENDING LADDER! As you ascend the ladder, it CONdescends to you!
BROO! It's - a BROO! Just like a broom, only useless!
	DEJECTION SLIP! Now you can depress your friends and neighbours when you mail them one of these dejection slips! PLUS: Free case of insomnia with every second purchase!
A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY! At low, low prices! Coming shaped as a wristwatch, this exclusive, imitation-Rolex watch is hand-crafted in the very finest sweatshops of Somalia. This WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY is not just like an ordinary wristwatch: it is appallingly slow. Guaranteed to be right only once a day (but we're working on that, too). PLUS: Free second with every second purchase!
	WHACKY WILMA'S BIG OL' JAR OF ABSTRACT NUMERICAL CONCEPTS! - Relive the FIRST time you died! - Delight in the SECOND time you lost your virginity! - Enjoy a DUO of TRIOLETS, and share a QUARTET of OCTAVES! - Thrill to a THREESOME of SINGLES! - Go back to the table for SECONDS without ever having to worry about FIRSTS! With this Big Ol' Jar, you will be able to watch your favourite television show a COMPLEX NUMBER OF TIMES, take a ride overseas in a DESCARTIAN PLANE, chop down a tree with an X-Y-Z AXIS, and perform INDUCTION and INTEGRATION on anyone you may wish! PLUS: Free first purchase with every second purchase!