Sunday, July 01, 2007

Jurassic snark, and other examples of enviro-psychopathy

Caz had a post a while ago introducing a spiffing new term to the environmentalist's lexicon, Eco-Suicide-Tourism. I'm not sure whether it applies to people who destroy the environment they travel to see, or people who travel to exotic locations just to top themselves, but perhaps we can go with both definitions.

Examples of Eco-Suicide-Tourism

Welcome to the Great Barrier Reef: one of the last remnants of natural beauty in a dying world! But that fragile beauty is slipping away as we watch it...

(What's that? Due to a wide range of government and community initiatives, it's growing back? Quick! Slip some of this Hydrosulfuric acid in the water! You can't expect us to get any more tourists if it starts growing back. It just ruins the fragile beauty of it!)

Welcome to the Galactic Apocalypse! Which form of Cosmic Extinction would you prefer?

a) Universal nuclear war.
b) Have a gigantic Quasar swallow everyone in this and the next couple of galaxies up.
c) Attack by a Supernatural army of Angels, Ghosts, and Demons.
d) All of the above.

(Please tick boxes as appropriate)

Welcome to Mount Everest: a pristine wilderness virtually untouched by man. Remember to stick to the asphalt path, please throw your rubbish in the bin (the Sherpas won't pick up after you, you know!), and whatever you do, don't forget to buy a brochure about Saving Mount Everest at the hotel at the foot of the mountain. Buy one for your friends as well!

Welcome to Chernobyl - site of one of the two most devastating nuclear accidents ever to have happened! Here are your geiger counter wristbands, and if you'll just step this way into the gift shop, you can get your radioactive reactor fragments. They come especially gift-wrapped - in lead!
You have reached the top of Mount Etna! For those who this is the most fulfilling and enriching experience of your lives, we'll be happy to take pictures! Would those who have cancer please step this way, and let us know if we will push or you will jump.

Welcome to the Jurassic Era. Please try not to sneeze on the dinosaurs. If it doesn't cause their imminent extinction and change the whole course of history, it will really piss them off.

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Me person. Live in world. Like stuff. Need job. Need BRAINS! (DROOLS IN THE MANNER OF ZOMBIES) Ergggggh ...