Look What You've Reduced Me To

Hmmm, this blog has been running for three - count them, THREE - whole days. That's a sizeable portion of eternity. And, at my last count, the number of readers who have reached this site are in their tens. Nay, their twenties! They've reached the high thirties, for goodness sakes - my readership has tripled in as many days. And still, after all this time - after hitting heights of unprecedented popularity - and after attempted extortion , various threats, and numerous examples of my fiscal irresponsibility, I still HAVEN'T GOT A JOB. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Okay, okay. I suppose in order to get this networking thing happening for me, I'm going to have to offer inducements of some sort. I know, let's try - a competition!

THE COMPETITION TO GET TIM A JOB

Take part in this competition, and you could be in the running for many (well, six) exciting prizes! Have a word to your Newcastle friends, or your Newcastle boss, and tell them I'm in the running for a job. Tell them what a gloriously marvellously talented person that I am. If your tip-off leads to decently paid job for me(1), then YOU WILL WIN NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT SIX OF THESE.(2) Which I will easily be able to afford, once I have become part of whatever Hegemonistic Capitalistic Employer decides to take me on.(3)

There. Now if that isn't a good bribe, I don't know what is. You people make me sick.

Terms and Conditions:
(1) If you want to get the prize, you'll have to be able to prove to me that it was your tip-off that led to me getting work. It's not that I don't trust you or anything. Mail me and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.
(2) I'll get you something else if you don't like that prize.
(3) If you're cute, I might also give you a kiss.