A Mild Speech To My Skin Condition

Hi there, Mild Case of Eczema! How good to see you back! Comparatively, at least. I mean, I'd rather have you round than a Mild Case of Ebola or a Mild Case of Death.

Come right in. Make yourself at home. Don't worry about me (you never have, after all.) There's a nice seat over there, why don't you get comfortable while I ... no? You'd prefer to take up residency around my fingers and toes? Mild Case of Eczema, what is it with you and intimacy? How many times have I said we're just friends?

And that following thing: quit going wherever I go! Honestly, you're worse than a bad smell. Do you think that you could detach yourself from my body just while I go to work? No?
Well, how about this then? Why don't I go over to do the washing up in the sink, and then, for no reason at all, sink my fingers into it until you hurt so much that you'll drop off by yourself?
No. Well, how about I get this axe, and I put my fingers down here, and I ... I mean, sure, there'd be blood and everything, but ... no? You don't like that idea, either?

Mild Case of Eczema, why don't you mildly take a long walk off a short pier?

Arsehole.