Monday, January 16, 2006

Ways To Amuse Yourself #5

Buy yourself the following things: one cane, one hundred typewriters, a backyard shed, a copy of Shakespeare's plays, a barrel of LSD, and a cage full of monkeys. Set the typewriters up in a shed, feed the LSD to the monkeys and then turn them loose in the shed.

Stroll amongst the monkeys with your cane and your copy of Shakespeare. Yell at them angrily if they don't produce results similar to or superior to Shakespeare's plays. Rap them occasionally with your cane.

Hopefully, in their fevered hallucinations, the monkeys will think you are the Great Baboon of the Jungles, or something. Anyway, the results should be interesting. Go on, you see if I'm wrong.


nailpolishblues said...

Any one of those ingredients would amuse me for minutes, possibly hours.
Tell me why I'm wasting the LSD on the monkeys?

Ben said...

Tim - you sir, are a genius.

But I have to share nail polishes concerns - couldn't I just make the monkey's sniff petrol for an hour or so?

TimT said...

Oh, you people are killjoys. There's enough for everyone.

What did the monkeys ever do to harm you?

(Disclaimer: this blog may or may not have been written by one thousand monkeys typing.)

Fatman said...

Way to go wiseguy! I've got a hundred friggin' monkeys tripping out throwing faeces/ typewriters/ copies of Shakespeare and each other, cops are after me because these simian bastards have kidnapped a child and I now owe the library $18 for the destruction of their soiled books.

TimT said...

Sounds amusing to me.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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